As Normal As Can Be || one-sided lashton

two

Back at the hotel, all four of them were in the mood for a drink and since Luke had not needed his medication that day, there was nothing standing in their way.

'What do y'all want?', Michael asked and everyone gave up their orders. While the guitarist was gone, the silence between the other three bandmates was nearly unbearable.

'So, when did we forget how to talk?', Calum laughed, making Ashton and Luke giggle.

'Well, if you want to talk, go ahead. We're listening', Ashton answered, leaning with his elbows on the table and his face resting in his palms. Blinking once, twice and a third time, Calum did nothing but stare back.

'Come on Lulu, a little help here', Ashton laughed, urging the tall boy to do the same.
From then on, Calum lasted for exactly ten seconds, before he bursted out laughing.

'Okay, fine. What do you want me to talk about?', he caved in with his hands up in surrender.

'Hmm, how about-'

'Love!', Luke excitedly interrupted the drummer, sneezing right after.

'Bless you.. and I wanted to say that', Ashton complained, earning a mumbled 'sorry'.

'Don't be, great minds think alike.'

'Sure, whatever', Calum said, 'the great minds', he added quotation marks with his fingers, 'chose the one thing I have nothing to say to.'

'Really? Nothing?'

'Yep, absolutely nothing', Calum confirmed.

'How boring.'

'What's boring?'

'Mikey!'
Michael was back, handing out all the drinks he had ordered, 'I allowed myself to order a round of shots as well, hope you don't mind.'

'Do we look like minding people to you?'

'Actually, no', Michael grinned, 'None of you use that part of your brain often enough.'
Calum pouted, 'Always a blast with you.'

'I know.'

About an hour, seven rounds of shots and a couple of beers later, the group of four was in a pretty good mood. They've been having conversations about everything and nothing at all, giggling about the oddest things while simply enjoying each others company. It had been too long since nights like this had been normal for them.
All this touring had occupied them and nights out weren't as popular amongst them anymore. Getting a full night's sleep had become their priority, which also no-one really blamed them for.

'Guys, it's been fun, but I think I'm gonna head to bed now', Michael was the first to say.

'I doubt we're gonna stay for much longer either', Ashton said, which made Luke slightly pout. He had liked being in the drummer's presence while being a little tipsy. It made him less nervous around Ashton, less awkward.

'What about you two?'

'I'm getting tired as well, so I'll get going too', Calum admitted, looking at Luke, 'Luke?'

'Hm?', Luke asked, a little confused as he hadn't really listened to what had been said.

'Are you going too or staying with Ashton?', Michael repeated what his friend had asked.

'Uhm', Luke let out, unsure of what to say, 'I might stay with Ashton? If that's even okay of course.'

'Sure it is, hun', Ashton assured, 'Good night you two.'

'Good night', they answered and left, once again leaving Ashton and Luke on their own.

It was silent for a while and Luke played with his fingers, not daring to say something in case it made him look stupid. He was sad that despite still having the same amount of alcohol in his blood than before, he was less confident. Maybe he needed his best friend here or maybe it had all been an illusion.

'Are you okay?', Ashton asked after a couple of minutes, noticing how conversations had died down entirely now that Calum and Michael were gone.

'Yeah!', he blurted out, blushing and then trying again more calmly, 'Yeah, why?'
Ashton couldn't help but smile slightly, 'You had a rough day and I just figured since you were so silent, you might rather be in your room.'

'No! Absolutely not, I like being here with you', he once again blurted, but this time he didn't care, because he needed Ashton to know that he wanted this.

'Okay great, because I enjoy your company as well', Ashton now smiled more freely and so did Luke.

'Though I must admit, I'm starting to get tired.'

'Oh', Luke mumbled, suddenly feeling his heart beat faster with fear. It pained him that Ashton wanted to leave and that it might've been his fault. Maybe he'd been too loud or too boring. Whatever it was, he blamed it on him, because Ashton really wasn't one to make mistakes.

'Yeah..', Ashton answered, carefully weighting out his options on what to say, 'You could join me if you'd like. Maybe watch a movie.'

'Really?'

'Sure, why not?'
Ashton suggested it and Luke was absolutely over the moon, but the way he had worded it, not enthusiastic at all made Luke scared to agree.
After all, Luke wouldn't be eager to spend time with himself either.

'Uhm, I- I'd love to, but I think I'm gonna head to bed.'

'Okay, maybe next time?'

'Sure.'
Luke stood up to leave, but Ashton needed to know one more thing.

'Will you be fine?'

'Sure, Ashton. I'll be fine.'
With that, Luke headed to his room, his mind flooded with doubt and fear.
What if Ashton had been sincere with his offer and now that Luke declined, he'd never get the chance again?
On the other hand, it might've been awkward, because Ashton only wanted to be nice and would've been annoyed with Luke agreeing.
It was all so confusing to the blonde and either way, it hurt so deeply.

Wanting this horrible feeling gone, Luke did the one thing he knew he could always count on. That one thing taking all the pressure from his shoulders and silence the worry, even if it was only for a few minutes.
Luke was willing to sacrifice his two weeks streak of being clean if it meant that he would stop shaking under all this weight.