As Normal As Can Be || one-sided lashton

three

'Where's Luke?', one of the stage assistants asked. She only earned clueless shrugs.

'You're up in an hour and none of you are ready. Please find him and then get into hair and makeup', she commanded. Everyone nodded, knowing there was no reason to argue with her.
They all had tried getting through to Luke that morning, but he had stayed silent the whole way to the venue and dissappeared almost immediately after their arrival.

'Do you guys think that he..?', Calum asked, leaving the sentence open. Everyone knew what he meant anyway, there was no need to voice it.

'I hope not', Michael sighed, 'I shouldn't have gone to bed so early.'
Michael often blamed himself when things went wrong with their youngest bandmate.

'It's not your fault, Mikey. I was the one to talk to him last and I noticed something was wrong. I just find it so hard to understand when it's better to leave him alone and when it's not.'

'Guys, it's no-ones fault. It's a difficult condition and we all have to learn to see the signs, including Luke', Calum told them. He had spend a lot of time researching and had come to the conclusion that there really was no such thing as understanding BPD. It was different for each patient and you just had to figure it out individually.

'You're right', Ashton mumbled, before he suggested, 'how about I go look for him and you two go into hair and makeup already?'

'No, you and Mikey always take care of everything. It's my turn now, he's my friend too.'
Calum was right and so they were heading off.

Just a few minutes later, the stage assistant showed up in sight, rushing towards Calum who was still looking for his friend.

'First Luke, now you', she groaned, 'please get into hair and makeup now. We're on a tight schedule.'

'They found him?'
The girl nodded, 'He was the first one to be ready actually.'
Calum let out a silent 'oh' and then was rushed by the stressed girl to finally get going.

There was no time to talk to Luke before the concert started and he seemed to make sure to keep it that way in their small break. Afterwards though, the boys were done with being ignored.

'God Luke, would you talk to us already?'
Luke looked up, his blue eyes big as he was faced with his three friends looking down at him.

'Why do you keep ignoring us?', Michael questioned, 'Did we do something?'
Quickly, Luke shook his head. He was confused why they would think that. Before he could think of an answer though, Calum already chimed in, 'What is it then?'

Then Ashton, 'We only want to help you Luke.'
Luke felt cornered and no matter how much Ashton's words would've meant to him normally, the fear took over.
Tears filled his eyes as he felt his heart pick up its pace, running extra laps to pump enough blood through his alarmed brain.

'Leave me alone', he then asked, getting up and wanting to push past them. Not seeing the situation for what it was though, Michael grabbed his wrist.

'Let me go', Luke asked, his voice shaky.

'No Luke, talk to us', Michael begged, ignoring Luke's attempts to free himself. There was so much going on inside of Luke that they couldn't see. They couldn't feel his heart racing or the tears welling up as his patience ran out. Everything seemed blurry and for Luke, this was now the point of no return.

'I said', he yelled, before yanking his wrist out of Michael's grip, 'Let me go!' Then, as fast as he could, he ran out of the room, with his hands clenched to fists and hot tears running down his cheek.
Unfortunately, Luke didn't get far as Michael obviously still hadn't gotten the message.

'Luke, Luke wait.'
The blonde didn't answer. He entered rooms and slammed doors shut, hoping to just be left alone.
In one of the rooms, Luke eventually broke down, hiding away in a corner and holding himself. As quietly as he could, he rocked back and forth in order to comfort himself. At the same time, he tried to muffle the sounds of his sobs by pressing his lips to a thin line, so Michael wouldn't enter the room and just leave it for now.
Sadly, that didn't happen.

'Luke?', he heard his voice, 'Luke, are you here?'
Luke didn't answer and concentrated on keeping his mouth shut. Maybe Michael would find him, but if he didn't sob, there was a chance he wouldn't yell.

'Michael, stop!'
Ashton.

'No, this can't continue like this', Michael argued, 'He needs to get a grip!'
Anger was rising in Luke like a spreading fire. Michael didn't understand a thing.

'How could you ever even say that? Weren't you the one asking us to be patient with him? Lecturing us that there would be ups and downs?'
Ashton seemed furious, reflecting Luke's feelings like a mirror.

'Yes, but-'

'No buts', the drummer interrupted him, 'Just leave him alone.'
Since Luke had not dared to look up yet, he could only assume that Michael was listening to the older boy from what he'd guess were receding steps.

'Hey', Ashton's voice then mumbled into the room. Luke didn't bother to answer, but he allowed him to speak for now.

'I don't know if it's okay for me to be here right now, so feel free to tell me to shut up and leave whenever you want me to', he started. The blonde appreciated how his friend was mindful of his bounderies and needs.

'It wasn't right that we cornered you like that, that Michael tried forcing you to stay and then ran after you. I know that you probably don't want to hear this right now though, so I'll leave that for later if that's fine with you.'
No answer besides sniffles, so Ashton continued carefully, 'Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? Maybe some company or a hug?'
Luke hesitated for a bit, before he nodded barely noticeable.

'Was that a yes?'
The blonde this time nodded a little bit more for reassurance. Not even ten seconds later, he could feel Ashton sliding down the wall next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders. And as he dared to rest his head on Ashton's chest, who then started to play with his hair, Luke could swear the clouds in his mind cleared for a little while.