Hello, Goodbye

Chapter Twenty-Two

He arrived at 4:30pm on the dot the next day, and his blue eyes lacked their normal cheer. Anxiety was written all across his face, and he seemed paler than normal. When she opened the door to meet him, she was surprised to see a tight grin across his lips instead of his usual ten thousand watt smile. "Hey," he said, and even his voice sounded off. Shaky. It was like someone had replaced the Zeke she knew with a replica made entirely of ants. He was nervous. That much was clear. "Are you ready to head out?"

She nodded her head, and together they walked to her car, neither one of them speaking a word. After checking behind her, she pulled out of her driveway and onto the road, heading in the direction of Oak Harbor. They drove in total silence, and a few times she looked over and saw him staring down at his fidgeting fingers. One of the stoplights turned red, and she took the opportunity to reach over and grab one of his hands in what she hoped would be a comforting gesture and not a romantic one.

He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, and she felt something flip in the pit of her stomach. "Everything is going to be fine," she said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He opened his eyes and looked up at her, and she grinned when she saw him relax just a bit. "Seriously. You have nothing to worry about. Worst outcome is Vance isn't your dad, right? And if that's the case, we'll just keep looking. No harm done. But we will find him, Zeke. I promise."

He nodded his head slowly, but he didn't say anything. She wondered if he could, or if he was so nervous, he'd lost the ability to speak altogether. The light turned green, and she continued on her way to the city. His leg was moving up and down, and it was making her nervous. For a moment she considered turning on the radio. To have something fill the silence that was starting to make her anxious as well. But then a thought occurred to her. The conversation she'd had with her friends in the graveyard just a couple days ago. It tugged on her brain, and she wondered if she should even ask the question she wanted to ask. If it was even a good time.

"Can I ask you something kind of personal?" she asked hesitantly. The theories her friends had come up with danced around her thoughts, and she had to have some answers.

"Sure," he replied, and she was relieved when his leg stopped bobbing up and down. He turned his whole body toward her, giving her his full attention.

"So Axel and Avery were in the graveyard with me the other day," she said, thinking maybe she should start at the beginning so she wouldn't sound like a crazy person. "They were helping me clean the stones. And they were wondering why you weren't there." Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his body tense up. Her fingers gripped the steering wheel a little harder as she struggled to ask the questions she wanted to ask.

"Okay?" he said, his tone urging her to continue. She swallowed hard, flexing her fingers a couple times. How do you ask someone if they're in recovery? "Emersyn, it's okay," he said, and she bit her lip anxiously. "Seriously. You can ask me anything."

She nodded her head. "Well, I told them you always head to the city on Monday, and that you don't return until Tuesday. Which, you know... piqued their interest. So they asked me what you were doing in the city. And when I told them I didn't know, they started throwing out... well, theories."

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, but his eyes stayed glued onto hers. "What were some of their theories?" he asked, and she could hear something in his voice. Fear, perhaps? Maybe dread? She couldn't quite put a pin in it, but it was clear he did not like the direction the conversation was taking.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. They were kind of silly." She should stop talking. Let it go. It's not like it was her business what he did in the city on Mondays anyway. And she felt like she was pushing him for answers he didn't want to give. But his eyes were piercing into her, and she knew she couldn't take it back now. She had to ask. "So I just wanted to know... you'd tell me if you had a problem, right?" He blinked, confused. She sucked in a breath and just spit it out. "Are you an addict, Zeke?"