Without You (Steddie)

Chapter 7

A/N; Hi me again. Please PLEASE take care of yourself. Take breaks. Take breathers. Drink water. I love you.

TW; suicidal ideation, past drug use mentions, trauma, death

After what happened at my house, we all decide to not spend the night alone. We pile blankets, pillows and mattresses in my front room, since my house is the biggest and case house the party as a whole. I sit next to Robin on the couch as everyone sleeps, we're the only 2 up.

I'm on a constant watch, which is fair. But I don't want to be around anyone after what just happened. I have to get to the Upside-Down, and I have to find Eddie. He doesn't deserve to be alone.

"Do you think he's going to be okay? Do you think we're going to be able to get him out?"

"We're going to get him out Steve, you know we will figure a way to do it."

"It's weird not hearing him... I have a bad feeling that there's something awful that's going to happen."

"Don't do anything stupid, trying to be heroic right now. We all need to stick together."

"I don't want anyone to get hurt Robs... what if we don't win? What if someone gets hurt again or dies? Max is still in a fucking coma from last time..."

"We're going to get it figured out..."

"What if we don't, this time?"

"Then we're going to keep trying to save the world, like we always do."

Eventually, Robin cannot keep her eyes open anymore, and leans on my shoulder. Her breaths even out, and become deep and slow. I will only have a few moments to leave if I can get out from beneath her. If I'm fast enough, no one will notice I'm gone until the morning.

I know they all love and care about me. I know that I might be making a stupid choice but they'll be able to make it without me if I don't survive this time. They'll be able to bury a body this time, they'll be able to bury two if they need to. And either way, I'll be with Eddie again. I can't continue to be here on this fucking planet without him. I need him back. I need to make this right.

I can finally think clearly. And I'm going to take my life into my own hands. If that means I lose it, so fucking be it. I will do anything to protect my family, and they do not need to risk themselves over a mistake I made. I should have never left him and Dustin alone. We should have all gone together, and I could have protected them. They would have made it out.

I shuffle out from beneath Robin, and stand up, quietly as I can and sneak towards the front door. As soon as I'm able to silently grab my keys, someone in the living-room stirs. Fuck.

"Where's Steve?" Shit. "Steve?" Dustin's voice echo's down the hall towards me, and I can hear more voices. I pocket my keys and make it back to the front room. "Sorry, I needed just a minute to myself..."

"Well sucks to suck buddy, you're not allowed to be alone. Especially here. Robin, did you manage to get rid of everything in the lunch box?"

She yawns and rubs her eyes. "Yeah flushed all that shit earlier. Alcohol is gone too."

"Good." Dustin nods and gives me a look. "That's not what I was going for..."

"Well whatever you were doing, you're not going anywhere alone."

"I wasn't fucking going anywhere, Henderson... I just... needed to be alone. A lot of shit happened okay? I've been alone for months. You ever stop for one second to think that I am used to it? That I'm going to need breaks from people?"