Until My Last Breath (Girl×Girl)

CHP. 15

"w-what?" She whispered as she stared at me.

I gulped down harshly thinking through if this was the right time to tell her the truth or just let it slide. With the way she was staring at me, I don't think I'll let it out but something tells me to, to just free my heart, to tell it out to someone aside from Kyle and Annie.

Just grow some balls and tell her!

"I- uh- my". I tried to find some words to say but nothing was coming out, I stared at my hands on my lap as the memories resurface. I mean I know I do trust her and knowing that she confessed to me that she was ED without any hindrance just gave me the balls to do what I'm about to do.

I mean no harm right?.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready".

"I know I just-- ". I looked at her as I felt the urge to pour my heart Infront of her, "I really wanna let it out"

She nodded as she smiled reassuringly. "Then go for it".

Here goes nothing.

"So I was 17 and It was uh-" I cleared my throat as I looked down, I can't be saying this and be looking at her, no way."So dad wanted to go shopping and he needed company so I thought I'd be the one to give him that since I'm swamped and it's been long since I hanged out with him,I happily obliged and we went together, we bought the necessarily things that we needed and on our way back, a heated argument butted in".

I felt her sitting close to me as she took my hands in hers. I know she wants to comfort me in any kind of way and she's not questioning, just listening and I'm grateful for that.

"So there's this girl I met in college,her name's Sara and she's cool so we started hanging out and I liked her and she likes me. Oneday we had a group study and we played truth or dare, that particular night she confessed that she likes me and I was really happy cause I felt the same way. I invited her to my house oneday and introduced her but knowing my dad, my dad was not comfortable with her, he'll always tell me to be mindful.
I really didn't take that to heart though so oneday Sara asked me out and I said yes without thinking twice and we started dating.she'll invite me to a party and she'll tell me to take a shot, I'll come home late. Dad hated that I was hanging out with her, saying that she was a bad influence"

I took a deep breath and continued," So while we were coming back from that shopping, I told him that Sara invited me to a party but his answer was no and that was how the argument started. I can remember his words to me in the car that particular day saying' Alex, you're just seventeen, I'm not saying you aren't old enough to do whatever you want but that Sara,I don't trust her and when you fall in love with her she's the type to break your heart, so I'm your father and I want to protect you, please don't get me angry especially not in the car'. But I didn't listen, I told him that he don't like seeing me happy and in that moment, I knew I've crossed the boundary. He got mad and we started arguing but then he forgot that he was driving"

I felt a liquid rolling down my cheeks as I let it out, the bad memories that I tried to put at the back of my very own mind."I felt him swerve and in that moment, in that fraction of a second I knew we were gonna crash, wanna hear the funny part?"

I felt her sniff and rubbed a circle at the back of my hand."There's one?"

I shook my head,"What I muttered was Shit,what I could mutter in my entire life was SHIT! and I couldn't even think of him, we crashed, I was taken to the hospital but he didn't make it, I killed my dad and that was not a coincidence,so tell me Elsa, I'm I a bad person? "

It was then that I realized I was sobbing, fuck, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick anything that I'll come across but I was holding my self in there.