✓ sweetheart. [jake]

my sweetheart, where are you.

JAKE'S POV

it was quicker than i thought.

how i was laughing with you,

talking,

holding your hand-

and there you are now, six feets under somewhere.

Tell me how should i accept this kind of death?

How will i let go of you, if you died in such ways-

If only i didn't wake up that night,

if only i didn't lie and say that im hungry..

if only i didn't leave you alone that time,

you won't leave me this way.

I was lost after hearing about your disease,

I don't want you to leave me as i love you so much,

I knew about the consequences,

but i insist on staying with you because theres no one like you in this world.

i tried my best to be there for you,

to spend my time with you for the very last time,

expecting a slow ending for our love story.

But this all was unexpected my dear.

I didn't expect this too happened way too quickly.

This is not what i prepare myself to,

this is not the ending i want with you,

this is not how it's suppose to be.

It's my fault.

I shouldn't have leave you alone.

If i didn't leave, this wouldn't happened.

If it did, i should be there to protect you.

Protect you from that killer-

Why does the fate have to be cruel to you,

and to me.

Everytime happiness come to me,

something will always happened.

Do i always deserve to be this kind of sad?

Do i not deserve to love or be love?

Why.

Why?

My love, i think cupid is being way too cruel to me.

Sigh.

You been through in a lot of pain,

you suffer enough, and i couldn't bear seeing you in pain actually.

Thought that slow dying would be pain broke me,

Yet fate was full with suprises.

I hate myself for your tragic death.

For your painful death.

I should be the one to feel that, and not you.

If someone have to be killed,

its me.

anyone, but please not you.

I know you wouldn't like seeing me this way,

but what can i do? i love you so much that this all hurts me.

I should be happy that your suffering ended,

but, the way it ended– pain me.

My love,

My sweetheart,

where are you?

i need someone to spend time with,

to give and share all my love.

Isn't it obvious that i don't want anyone else,

only you.

Im grieving,

grieving.

constantly grieving

I mourn what could have been,

what will not be,

what i can't save.

my so sweet Aein,

my heart sobbed as my eyes can't anymore.

it whispered,

hitting me with the painful truth,

that not matter what i do,

not matter how i get mad to the innocents,

not matter how i much tears my eyes cried,

you will not come back.

you will never come home.

but i know you go somewhere better than home,

you find much more than just a home there.

i wish you an endless happiness always,

although i just lost mine ...

this is not goodbye, my love.

Let's see each other again, Nam Aein

Rest well for now.