Safe Place to Hide || Chenford / The Rookie

Chapter 4

When Tim silently follows her into her apartment later that evening, Lucy idly muses that he's spent more time there in the last 12 hours than he has in the entire time she has known him, and somehow, despite that fact, and despite the thick tension that continues to weigh down the air between them, something about him being here, in her home, with her, feels almost normal, like it's almost more strange that this isn't something they'd been doing all along.

With the click of the door behind them, she turns to face him, ready to face his wrath head-on, knowing that she's absolutely earned it.

But when her eyes meet his, she's surprised to see that his expression isn't angry. He's studying her carefully, "What were you thinking, Lucy? I know you can be impulsive sometimes, but I've never seen you be outright reckless."

Lucy sighs, emotion welling up in her throat. She was expecting and emotionally prepared for being reamed out, but his genuine concern is almost too much for her. She pushes a hand back through her hair in frustration, "I know — I'm sorry — that was stupid. I could have cost us both our jobs. I just —"

She can feel the tears welling up in her eyes as they threaten to spill over and she is so, so tired of fighting the emotion she's been trying to keep controlled all day. "I needed to do something, Tim. When I saw her in the hospital, she just looked so young and vulnerable. This is just so, so wrong. And as tough as she pretends to be, she's still just a kid. She didn't deserve this. And it just didn't feel like they were taking what I said about her cousin seriously. I thought if I could just find something to confirm..." She trails off, fully aware of how off the rails she sounds, and unable to go on over the emotion that is continuing to fill her throat.

Tim sighs and reaches for her in a way that is so natural, so instinctual that it's almost impossible to believe that this simple act of hugging, of him holding and comforting her, is still something so novel between them. Something that, up until yesterday, they'd only shared once before on a day that they each considered amongst the worst in their lives.

Several minutes pass before he says anything, holding her and allowing her to process her grief, his hand soothingly rubbing up and down her back. Finally, sensing that she's calmed down, he breaks the silence, "I'll talk to Grey. We'll figure out a way for you to help on this. But it has to be the right way."

She nods slowly, pulling back to look up at him, "Okay. You're right. Thanks, Tim."

His expression is still mired in concern as he seems to be debating his next words, "Look, Lucy. You did me a favor once -- called me out when I was crossing a line that couldn't be undone. So I'm going to return that favor now. You have to stop — I understand how much Tamara means to you and how much you want to bring whoever did this to justice. And I know it's hard to see through your anger and grief, but there are a lot of us that want the very same thing. Whoever did this isn't going to get away with it. But what happened tonight -- it was serious."

His eyes are sad and almost pleading, voice hitching in an uncharacteristic way before he continues, "I need you to promise you won't do anything like this again. I can't — I won't cover for you again."

The words hit Lucy like a punch in the gut, and she swallows as she steps completely back from him, questioning whether she's heard him correctly. 

On some level, she knows he is right — she made a stupid, reckless decision that could have cost her more than she's willing to admit to herself. But on another level, she can feel resentment pooling in her stomach. She made one mistake, one poor choice. How long had she covered for him with Isabel? How many things had she looked the other way on for him? And what? She makes one questionable decision and suddenly he's on the straight and narrow — too principled to have her back when she needs him to have it the most.