Safe Place to Hide || Chenford / The Rookie

Chapter 17

Tim wakes early the next morning, even before the sun comes up, and quietly gets dressed. He glances over to where Lucy is still sleeping soundly, and though he is absolutely drinking in this rare opportunity to study every bit of her beautiful face uninterrupted, it's her vulnerability in this moment that leaves him overcome by the intensity of his feelings for her.

Physically, the night before had been incredible, mind-blowing even — he's not sure he's ever had sex that passionate — the intensity of months of suppressed attraction finally coming to the surface between them and taking things to a level he hadn't been prepared for, the knowledge that they were crossing such a clear line only serving to make every bit of escalation and exploration that much hotter in the moment.

But now, in the almost light of day, he's uncertain of where things stand between them emotionally, uncertain of whether he has failed them both by not being strong enough to stop things from escalating so quickly. And the line that they had practically incinerated last night is somehow still there — an unmistakable reminder that the woman he'd so readily and easily lost himself in last night was his rookie only a few short months ago. But even as the thought crosses his mind, he can feel how the shape of it has changed. Because it's not so simple. She's been more — much more — than his rookie for a long time, no matter how intensely he's clung to those roles to explain away their connection.

"Mmmm..." Lucy mumbles as she turns in the bed, reaching for him. And she may as well have a leash around his heart, the simple movement tugging at something inside of him that has him reclaiming his spot next to her without a moment of hesitation.

"Hey," he says softly as her eyes flutter open in response to his movement, "How are you feeling?"

He leans back against the headboard, and she shifts so she can look up at him. "Um... I'm okay... Are you leaving?" she asks groggily, taking in his fully dressed state and seated position.

Tim nods, "Yeah. I had someone check on him last night, but I owe Kojo a long run before our shift."

She pouts sleepily, rubbing her eyes as she sits up, taking care to bring the sheet with her; the naked passion of the night prior giving way to the reality of a new day; the sudden awareness of exactly how many lines had been crossed seemingly catching up to Lucy as well.

"Look, Lucy. I want you to know, I get that — last night — that you were just wanting to blow off some steam. You're dealing with a lot right now... I'm just saying — we don't have to make it into anything more than that, it doesn't have to change anything between us if you don't want it to..."

She tilts her head back to look at him, eyes wide and earnest, "Is that what you want?"

And this is a different version of Lucy from last night — this version of her is sweet and uncertain, and looking at him with a vulnerability that is triggering every protective instinct inside of him, every urge to take care of her and reassure her.

"You know it's not, Lucy," he says softly, reaching over to gently push a stray strand of hair back behind her ear before brushing his thumb over her cheek. "But I know this — whatever this is between us — it's complicated and you've already got a lot on your plate, and I don't want to take advantage —"

"You're not, Tim." She shifts to move toward him, awkwardly attempting to navigate keeping the sheet wrapped around her as she moves, and he can't help but chuckle.

This girl — this woman — who was so devastatingly hot and sexy and sure of herself last night, now so silly and shy and awkward, and it's that juxtaposition that so completely encompasses everything that he loves about her. And though the form of that love is changing as quickly as the dynamics between the two of them are, there is no questioning the depth and intensity of emotion he feels toward her.