DC Oneshots

Last Train to Clarksville

"Clark Joseph Kent, What is the meaning of this?" Diana stomped toward Superman and slammed a newspaper onto the dashboard before him.

"Careful," Superman straightened in his seat. "You can't call me that here."

Clark winced, frantically searching the faces of the other League members present. The Flash lounged at the snack bar, giving GL a hard time for not watching Top Gun. Black Canary sparred in the next room with Arrow, who Clark hadn't entirely warmed up to yet. Fortunately, Green Lantern was too annoyed with Barry to notice Diana's slip-up. J'onn's attention remained glued to the monitors, his expression not betraying anything, but knowing the Martian, he no doubt already knew Clark's secret. Clark tensed. Barry and Diana were the only ones that knew him out of uniform or at least the only ones he knew of.

Batman probably had some secret in-depth file on all league members. Clark couldn't wait for Batman to leave Metropolis. He was getting really tired of the Detective barging in where he wasn't wanted. His methods were brutal and deadly. Superman did not need him. He could handle a clown with a mental affliction on his own.

"Don't make me use the lasso of Truth on you Kal-El," Diana's hands flew to her hips, eying him shrewdly. "You have some explaining to do."

He avoided locking eyes with the angry Amazonian princess. It had been a slow night till now. From this angle in the Watchtower, he could find a certain, intrepid reporter sitting at an elegant round table. Lois twirled the straw in her tea mindlessly, smiling contently at the playboy seated across from her. Clark's chest tightened with fury. 'It's just that I was hoping to get away from the subject of the Man of Steel for one night.'

Clark quickly shut his hearing off and returned his attention to the meaningless files he had on The Joker. That was not meant for his ears. He never thought he'd see the day when Lois got tired of the Man of Steel. It sure put a damper on the kiss they shared the other day. Was he yesterday's news? Could she seriously think Bruce Wayne was the one? Bruce Wayne had a different girl every night. Clark thought Lois knew what a player he was.

He buried his head in his hands. Things have gotten so complicated now. At the time, creating 'Superman' seemed like a good idea. Now he just wished he were one full person. It was exhausting being two people. But Lois could never know the truth. She will leave him faster than you can say 'Speeding Bullets.' If history had shown anything, it was that humans and aliens don't get along, even if he looked human.

Without having to look down at the newspaper Clark knew Diana referred to the article 'The Alien Finds His Mate.' Cat's expose of Superman's love life made front page news. A heart-shaped photograph takes up half of the top of the page, showcasing a picture of Wonder Woman and Superman kissing. Wonder Woman's back faced the camera, her rich ebony curls falling in waves over her exposed back. This was what he got for saving the world.

"I'm sorry," Clark leaned back in the uncomfortable, steely chair. He lowered his voice. "I know it makes you look bad – not that you don't look gorgeous all the time – I mean I'm not trying to objectify you in any way . . ."

Diana threw her head back and laughed. "Relax Kal," she squeezed Clark's arm comradely. "I'm only messing with you."

"I knew that," Clark squeaked. "Of course, I knew that." But his blushing face proved otherwise.

"May Aphrodite bless your union and Eros bless your escapade in the bedroom," She said with a teasing note.

"I'm going to pretend you did not just say that," Clark shuddered, avoiding meeting Diana's eyes. He couldn't believe she said that with a straight face. An Amazonian princesss no less. Clark thought she would have better decorum. He expected a comment like that from Barry, not an Amazonian warrior princess.