Chapter One

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Flashback to childhood

"We don't have enough."

We don't have enough.

The wooden floors beneath me creaked every time my tiny feet trembled. I held myself very still, still to the point of going numb.

"Darling, we have options." My mother's voice penetrated through the thin wall into the living room. "The electricity will turn off in a week, then the water will follow in another week. Within that time, I can find a few more jobs and you can ask for a few more loads at work." Mom was a woman identified by her mesmerizing figure and startling looks. Long tanned and lean legs frame a body fit for a ballerina. From the elegant arms to the built core, mom was known for her beauty. Then her face, a face which I stared up at and memorized every dip and line. A strong, sloped nose was framed by the warmest brown eyes you'll ever see. Eyes that held struggles and pain but smiled back at you and allowed its heat to thaw out all the hurt of the day. Mom was a woman everyone desired to be, a good heart with the body and face to go with it.

Now glancing at the beauty I call mom, I saw her bent over holding the cracked, cheap plastic countertop for dear life. Her slender, muscular arms held her up as her face contorted into pain. Pain that went through me like a bullet, straight to my young heart. My strong, graceful mother's voice shook and quivered as she spoke. I heard the hot block of tears in her delicate voice.

Daddy grabs onto her and lifts her into his strong lap. His big hands wrapped around her and grounded mom to him like a vise. A head of ashy blonde hair fell into the fragile slope of my mother's neck. "Love, we'll be fine. Boss will give me a few more jobs and I can ask the landlord once more." The voice I remembered as soft turned into a gravely and raw mess. My mother's tiny frame quakes as she silently sobs. Daddy's hands slowly make their way from her hips into her silky head of black hair. Hands gripped and held on tighter as her little hitches bounced off the bare walls into his ears. "Hush, love. I know, I know but we have to be tough. This is a tiny bump in our road, we'll overcome it."Her hitches quiet down into sniffles, dad peppers mom's hair with kisses and rubs her back to a steady rhythm. "We have to stay stable for our daughter. She can't see us struggling, now can she?" Mom looks up at dad with a look of pure awe, a face filled with love, pain, and fear. Dad looks into her eyes and whispers, "We'll get through this."

My pulse quickened and each breath felt like a struggle against the tears wanting to be let out. Slowly, I made my way back to the room we all share. Never in my ten years of living had I seen the ugly truth we call life. My mind sways as I curl into myself and let the tears win, the image of my parents in the kitchen was on repeat. Over and over, all I could hear was my mother's hitches and father's voice. The pain and struggles they go through just so I could have everything I needed.

That was the day when I promised myself that I'll study hard and get to a place in the future where I can spoil my parents to death and repay them for everything.

Every tear that was shed for me.

Every night that was spent working hard.

Every time they came to me with a smile when they were everything but happy.

I promised myself that my parents will live happily and spend their days on the beach or going shopping once I grow up. Never would they have to worry about money.

But to get there, I never realized my life would be a struggle too.



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