Shrimp Christ

3: Chips and guac

There lay a heavy silence between them, disrupted only by the occasional crunch of a guacamole covered chip. Jeremy could feel the awkwardness under his skin like an inch, and he couldn't help but fidget uncomfortably in the Shrimp Christ's presence. He tried to focus on the background clammer of the Chipotle they sat in, but no spoiled child's screams of wanting steak and not chicken in their burrito could distract him from the all powerful gaze of the Shrimp Christ. Finally, he found he couldn't bear the tension anymore and decided to break the silence.

"So," He started, trying to gather up his thoughts. "How did you find me?"

"Well," Shrimp Christ leaned back in his seat, waving around a chip tilting precariously with the sheer amount of guacamole piled on it. "To be honest, I didn't even realize ya had been taken until lak 10 minutes after de fact." He took a bite of his chip and gasped in horror when a glob of guacamole slipped off his chip and went splat on the floor. He gazed down sadly at the fallen guac, eyes shining with what appeared to be unshed tears.

Bemused, Jeremy decided to bring the attention back to the matter at hand. "Even so, thank you for saving me, my lord," he said. "But I am curious why you were concerned enough about a mere human such as myself to do so. Might I hazard a guess?"

Shrimp Christ looked away from the floor and gave Jeremy a confused glance before reaching for another chip. "I mean, there wasn't really a reason."

"Oh." Jeremy blinked at him, unsure how to proceed. He didn't want to question a being such as Shrimp Christ more than necessary, but that wasn't the answer he had been expecting. "Could I still please ask my original question?"

After spending a few long seconds slowly eating the chip, this time without losing a single bit of guacamole, Shrimp Christ snapped all his attention to Jeremy, turning to face him completely, and pinning him in place with his soul piercing eyes. He seemed to already be able to tell what point Jeremy was getting at, only adding to the discomfort he felt from being in Shrimp Christ's gaze. He knew he would have to approach this with the utmost tact.

Taking his silence as agreement, Jeremy continued, "I hope I'm not assuming too much, but from the brief time I've known you, my Lord, we seem to have similar opinions of God. I don't believe I've mentioned it to you yet, but God has stolen something from me, which is why I'll need an audience with him. Has he perhaps done something to spite you as well?"

The usual light in Shrimp Christ's eyes flickered and cooled, sending a chill down Jeremy's spine almost akin to the cold he had felt when he was surrounded by the shadow shrimp. "Ya sure could say that. It was long ago, but th' scars still remain like it were yesterday. 'Least in ma mind they do."

Jeremy nodded in acknowledgment. "You need not say more. I see that I was right to assume we are similar in this way. I plan to take revenge on God at all costs, and it would be wonderful if I could collaborate on this with someone as powerful as yourself."

Shrimp Christ reached for the last chip and scoop of guac as he contemplated his words. "Well, it's been so long, I dunno if he's even gonna remember what he did."

"It's not every day he injures the great Lord Shrimp. He will remember, and if he doesn't, then who does he think he is, God—?" Jeremy paused. "Well, you know what I mean. Anyway, what matters is your revenge. If he doesn't remember, you can make him, and then you can inflict the same pain upon him that he caused you. My Lord, do you want revenge?"

"Damn right I do. Ain't nothin I want more," Shrimp Christ said, narrowing his eyes.

His nervousness that he had been misreading the situation assuaged, Jeremy decided to press further to make sure they had a deal. Though he knew he was most likely overstepping the guidelines for speaking to ancient deities, he leaned over the table with one arm and, steeling himself, looked straight into Shrimp Christ's eyes. "But, my Lord, can you commit? Can you dedicate yourself to this cause? Are you willing to do whatever it takes?"