The Fate of Fractured Lives

20 Neon Moon

I feel like I need a break after that darkness of a memory. Fortunately, I have one bright light before the end begins. This was our calm before the storm.

It felt like we had been on the road for an eternity. We had a long day and night of driving and then the burning of some more morning light before we got to Morden's facility. It could have been quicker. Jess had offered to "jump" us all there, car included, but Donna said we couldn't.

"I'll get us there when we are supposed to be there," she told us.

There were things in motion that she could not stray from.

"We have a destiny now?" asked Brenda, half sarcastically.

"It's a feeling. Please trust me," replied Donna.

It was hard to trust her senses, but I knew we had to. I didn't know why Brenda and Jess were able to trust so easily but I wasn't about to question it. I was afraid I'd start to lose my nerve if they had objected in any way. So I trusted that everything would happen when it needed to. I think all of us could feel it. Donna had a haunted look in her eyes that only I noticed. I squeezed her thigh again with my hand to let her know things would work out. She just nodded.

I don't remember when the radio was turned on. Donna or I must have decided some background noise was in order because we needed something to give us a break from the tension and awkward silence. We passed out of the range of one station and into the range of another. This one happened to use a country format. One song ended and then we heard the opening chords and first verse of something familiar. Neon Moon broke through the static of the car's speakers. It brought back a good memory and I smiled.

I'm not sure what came over me, but I started to sing along. I caught a subtle smile struggling to not form on Donna's lips. In the back seat, the peanut gallery shared a look of bewilderment. I'm not known to sing or do anything lighthearted for that matter. I continued to sing along and nudged Donna.

"No," she said, trying really hard to not look at me.

I leaned in closer and sang a little louder and nudged her again.

"Nope," she said, slowly losing the intense battle to reel back her now big smile.

I sang louder. Maybe my memory is coloring things a bit, because there was a pause before the last line in the chorus that lasted more dramatically than I think it actually should. And then Donna joined me in not completely butchering the song. We sang slightly off-key but I'll blame that on us trying not to laugh. In spite of the perplexity that the two in the back of the car felt, neither could resist. Somewhere along the way Brenda and Jess joined in. For a couple minutes the world actually felt normal. We felt like something other than a group that barely knew each other. It felt like this was who we were always meant to be. It was as if we were just a group of friends on a road trip. It felt like family. Maybe we all felt the need to rage against the dying of the light and this was a chance to do it together. And there is no better way to fight the dark than with light. When the song ended there were more laughs. Donna looked into the rear view mirror at Brenda.

"And how do you two know that song?" she asked.

"What? How do you know Books & Dunn aren't my jam?" Brenda replied.

In typical Donna fashion, her eyebrow just raised.

"Okay, fine. Country music isn't what I typically listen to," said Brenda.

She had a thoughtful pause then continued, "In the good old days, it was one of my parent's favorite songs. They used to dance to it in the kitchen."

Then she looked away and out at the world passing by so we wouldn't notice her eyes getting misty. Jess reached over and squeezed Brenda's hand. Brenda hadn't yet told Jess about what happened with her parents but it seemed as if Jess could sense something. Brenda collected herself, looked back at Jess and smiled.