After The Rain

Chapter Fifteen - Whispers We Ignore (II)

I call us part dread, part song
part story, part wrong.

We built our castles in each other
out of splintered spine and blood.

We met in grief and
were held together by its mud.

Took crowns made of bones
placed it on each other's heads.

We loved each other with
fragments of ourselves that were dead.

This is why we couldn't rely
on the promises that we spoke.

Perhaps in a different time
I would have named us hope.

Perhaps in a different universe
we would not meet so battleworn

And I would call us forgiveness
and would not remember us as war.

- Nikita Gill (I Named Us Grief)

~

Khushi stayed by the window of her room, glancing anxiously down the road as she had been doing ever since she learnt that Arnav-ji would be driving her every day till the wedding.

It had been a bad enough shock the first time Bua-ji announced that her charioteer was none other than Arnav Singh Raizada, the one person she had been determined to avoid as much as possible what with their families joining. But it didn't seem like fate was going to play in her favour any time soon. It was as if even after turning her life upside since the last year, Devi Maiya was still not satisfied. Not only did she have to survive a fifteen-minute trip alone with Arnav, but she also had to be in his presence more than she was used to since he had decided to work from home.

His intentions were, however, pure. He had taken time off so that he could aid in his brother's wedding and—Khushi's pulse quickened every time she acknowledged this fact—in order to be around her, to make sure she is safe. This new side of him was bewildering. The very idea of Arnav Singh Raizada caring for her, and being so concerned that he alters his daily schedule for her, made her stomach flutter, and then churn.

Khushi had long known that Arnav was not the monster she had thought him to be. Despite what he did to her, he was capable of love. She knew that from the way he cared for his family, but his soft side had been appearing more and more since these last few days. The snob Arnav Singh Raizada, who looked down at everyone with less wealth than him, was always obliging to her Aunt and mother as they beckoned him to join them for breakfast. He was kind in refusing food that he deemed he wouldnt like but always managed to eat something so as not to offend them.

He was patient and friendly, and though he sucked at it, he managed small talks every time he sat in the hall with her family. To make sure that they were able to enjoy the wedding properly, he and Akash-ji had even made arrangements for a home nurse to look after Babu-ji, and had convinced Bua-ji and Amma to use the car they bought as a gift which had better accessibility for her father so that their trips would be easier. Jiji had a newfound respect for her Jethji and even Bua-ji, who had once threatened to throttle Arnav, gushed over him from time to time.

But Khushi could find no delight in his changed behaviour. On quite the contrary, it vexed her.

Why did he have to suddenly change? To turn all nice and soft when now more than ever she needed reasons to stay away from him? When she needs motivation to batter her heart, treacherous as it was to quicken at his mere name, into submission so it would stop fluttering at the sight and memory of him, so it would stop hurting every time she left him in his car and every time she ignored him in those hours that they spent being in the same room? He hadn't even snapped and told her to get out of his car yet! What was he playing at?