Malfoy Amongst The Chaos

1st October 1996

<07>

Wanda

On the morning of my 17th, I stood propped up against the sink, my hands gripping the outer rim with a dangerous sort of vigour. I squinted at the shining surface of the mirror, barely seeing the white-faced and trembling reflection that was the product of the reoccurring dream that had shook me from sleep once again, and instead was pumping my mind out of my body, sweat beading along my upper lip and temples as scarlet red pulsed behind my eyes.

The sink was vibrating, the ceramic groaning in protest –

"Mama! Papa!" screamed a girl's voice. "Pietro!" –

I bit into my lip, shouldering out the memory, until I tasted blood. I'd seen something just a minute ago, in the mirror, something to go with the flaming fire-like curls. A claret headpiece – like a devil's crown...

"SIRIUS!" –

STOP.

The noise in my head grew frantically loud.

"CAN YOU HEAR HIS MIND?" –

STOP IT!

My eyes were throbbing with my magic, my heart pounding deafeningly in my ears as I bared my teeth with the effort of what I was trying to do. I could feel it around me, like a full-body blanket. Warmth, safety – deception.

A scream. Green eyes and red hair. A soft, accented whisper. The crown and smirk of power. Me. It's me again.

I blink.

The mirror shines in the morning sun and the steam of the shower room settles around me, onto its glassy surface. My hair is golden brown once more and soon my reflection is hidden behind the blur of condensation.

I let go of the sink and step back, panting.

"ебать." I groan, closing my eyes.

My head pounds in the silence and I run my fingers through my wet hair, I have so many reasons to be strong today – so many reasons to be alive and remember.

I only wish that they could too.

<<>>

A heavy amulet hangs from a silver chain around my neck, a gleaming ruby at its centre. The metal around it folds out like a flower and glints in the sunlight trickling through the owlery window as I scrawl a thank you letter to Molly, Arthur and the twins for my gifts.

I can feel it there at all times. It seems to burn a hole through the material of my new quidditch shirt and forge with my skin, its weight always against me now. 

"You alright?" Harry asks, after minutes of unbroken silence.

I pass Nexus the letter and face him as she launches herself into the air and vanishes from sight. His eyes are watching me carefully and my hands dart to the amulet again. "Yes."

He frowns. "What is it?"

I look away from his gaze and sigh, slipping into the darkness of the narrow, spiralling staircase descending back to the main part of the school. Our breath condenses in front of our faces from the chill of early morning and I rub my arms against the cold, hearing his footsteps behind me.

"I just..." I begin, feeling my throat tighten, and glance back at him as we break into the warmth of the seventh floor again. "I just don't understand why he would wait so long to give me this. I've... needed it before now."