You Have the Right to Keep a Secret Love

Chapter 44: "You know I can't say to you..."

Qi Xi looked at Gu Yan.

Gu Yan also looked at Qi Xi.

The two of them were almost in a state of staring at each other, and in this gaze, Qi Xi's face slowly turned red. She didn't know what to do, her hands and feet felt superfluous, unsure of where to place them, and she didn't know what to say next. It seemed that this silence was a precious balance. She blinked her eyes, occasionally staring at Gu Yan without blinking.

Finally, it was Gu Yan who regained his voice first. He looked at Qi Xi with a slightly hesitant and coaxing tone, but it was gentle to the point of feeling unreal. "Qi Xi, can you repeat what you just said?"

Qi Xi stared at Gu Yan. "Shouldn't you have known everything last night? What else do you want me to say? I've already lost face last night."

Gu Yan appeared somewhat embarrassed. He glanced at Qi Xi, lowered his gaze, and his face blushed slightly. "Honestly, I still suspect that last night was a dream, that the one who got drunk was me, not you, because even now, I don't feel real. I can't believe you would say those things to me."

What things! He made it sound like she was sexually harassing him!

Qi Xi glared at Gu Yan with a fierce gaze. "What did I say? I didn't say anything inappropriate or unlawful."

Gu Yan cleared his throat, then looked away, as if he couldn't meet Qi Xi's gaze directly. "The things you said, to me, they have a similar effect as something inappropriate or unlawful. I become completely defenseless, and you can do whatever you want to me. It feels like a dream, as if I would do anything for you."

Although Gu Yan said so, Qi Xi felt that she was the one who lacked a sense of reality. Her heart was mixed with embarrassment, shyness, and disbelief. It was like being invited to attend a wedding ceremony, only to realize upon entering that she wasn't just a spectator, but the protagonist getting married today, and the groom was the man she had liked for many years. At this moment, she felt as if she had been hit by a big prize, as if she were the luckiest person in the world.

But it wouldn't do for Qi Xi to show too much excitement, as Gu Yan would be able to see through it. Qi Xi suppressed her urge to jump around in joy. She still felt a bit aggrieved inside. "You make it sound like you like me so much. If you claimed to have liked me for a long time, then why is it me who confessed? According to the order of events, you should have confessed to me first, after all, you liked me before, and in our long interaction and growing feelings, shouldn't you have been the one unable to hold back and confessed to me?"

As a result, it was only when Qi Xi couldn't hold back any longer and got drunk that she spoke her heart.

When asked like this, Gu Yan was unusually hesitant. He awkwardly explained, "I originally intended to confess to you again last night, but I didn't expect..."

Qi Xi felt a sourness in her heart and couldn't help muttering, "What do you mean by 'again'? It sounds like you confessed once before..."

Gu Yan lowered his head, and his voice became low. "At the graduation ceremony, when I didn't have time to say it, you had already rejected me. In my own heart, I had confessed and received your answer."

How could that be the same!

"If you had written a sincere letter confessing your feelings, given it to me in person, and said that you liked me so much and begged me to be in a relationship with you, I, I wouldn't have treated you the same way."

Qi Xi recalled the impassioned speech she had made at the graduation ceremony, and her cheeks felt hot. She cleared her throat and pretended to be calm. "After all, I'm a very kind person that's rare in Rong City. If you really can't be without me and think that I'm a necessity in your life, then maybe I would still be willing to do good deeds every day."