Promise until the end

Chapter V: The instinct or the kindness?

I stormed out of the house, not bothering to even look back.

I went into the small alleyways to move through the city without being noticed, just in case the police are still looking for me too because they considered me as an "accomplice" after the incident with Maxwell.

I have to find out where they took him to get him out of there.

You already know the drill: he is someone I dearly care for and I don't want to lose him over something stupid just because of his irresponsible and self-absorbed mother.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I got shivers in my arms and I feel scared.

Really, really, really scared.

I don't exactly know how to describe it, but imagine, for example, a snail that lost his shell. That means that now, he has nothing to protect him against the bad weather, the winds, the storm, the rain, the predators, ect.

He has nowhere to hide or to turn to until the danger goes away.

And because he doesn't have a shell anymore, his family doesn't want him anymore, so now, he is completely alone in a big, scary, wild world.

In this situation, I'm the snail and this feeling is loneliness.

As I said before, I don't mind being alone, but feeling lonely is what scares me.

I guess we could say that even if I turn 20 in 3 months, I'm still scared of not having anyone to have my back.

I'm usually pretty independent but I'm still human in the end, and I need someone to be there for me when I'm at my lowest, the same way I'll be there for them when they need me.

I'll get Max out of jail, that's for sure, except that for the time being, he is gone and it's my own parent's fault.

Or perhaps...was it mine?

I shouldn't have left the appartement. If I didn't, they wouldn't have gotten to him.

Or maybe, if I hadn't forgotten my wallet and wasted time searching for it, I would've gotten back earlier and I would've had time to alert Max about the cops.

Dammit...

I don't deserve to be out here right now. I should be in Max's place, in jail. Where I'll grow old and miss a part of my life. I made him a single promise, and I failed to keep it. I failed to keep a promise to my best friend. How pathetic I am.

Max deserves better than me. I'm a gross piece of shit. I'm so sorry, Max...

My parents must've been right; I brought this upon myself, because I'm such a shitty person. There is only myself to blame.

"Good old Dienne, still having that overthinking issue huh?"

It was a familiar voice but with the darkness of the night, I couldn't see who said it. Wait...actually...no. It can't be... I must be going crazy...

"......Anne...?"

"It took you a moment to realize," she said, with a small chuckle.

I jumped back up and took a few steps back, ready to run.

"Why do you all want to ruin my life so badly?! First, those two old jerks called the police on Max and now, they sent you to find me and call the cops on me, didn't they?!"

"Stop being so defensive, that is far from the reason I'm here," her voice sounded sincere, so I relaxed a bit, waiting for her to continue her explanations.

"I heard what you said. I heard what mom and dad said and how they used me to get back at you," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you at first,but now that I know the truth, I'll help you get your friend out of jail alright?"