When life give's you Lupus

Isolated

I haven't seen my friends in weeks.

I wish I could go to school.

But I am too weak.

To frail

Too Fragile to handle high school.

People say high school is hell which is it but the isolation I receive is too.

 I have to sit at home and do all my work online.

I can't go to baseball games.

I can't go to prom.

I can't make stupid jokes with my friends at lunch and in class.

Because I'm sick

I'm always sick.

Tomorrow, I have another appointment. 

Maybe a new treatment will help me more.

It's been two years.

Two years of trying

Two years of failing

Two years of pain

Two years of losing my abilities and fighting to gain them back.

Sometimes I couldn't walk.

Sometimes I couldn't talk.

Sometimes I couldn't feed myself.

Sometimes I had to wear a diaper like I was a baby and not a teenager.

Before I got sick, I would dance, cheer, and play volleyball.

I will again

Because I'm a fucking badass

I am sick now.

But I am getting better and stronger treatments.

I may not be the same.

But I will still do the things that I love.

I refuse to give up.

Recovery isn't liner.

It's a rollercoaster that you have to hold on hoping and praying to the gods you don't fall.

But when you get off it will be relieving

Maybe into remission maybe into death

If you stop at remission, you can fight another battle and live another day.

If your stop is death, it unornate that you lost your fight but now you can walk around the earth be a spirit and live in the stars maybe your higher self-will reincarnates, and you live again.

Whatever stop I get off at I am still badass.

As they say the good die young.

If my ending isn't happy, it's okay.

Smile when you read this even if I'm gone.

Turn the page and wipe your tears.

I was isolated in life, but I won't be isolated in death.

Which may be where my spirit belongs?

To haunt the Earth

It going to be okay.

We all are isolated.

But if you are isolated from me through death, it was just meant to be