Hellooooo
So this is ANGST BECAUSE IM BORED OF FLUFFY SHIT
!CW!:
• Crying
• being alone
SH (I will be placing a warning as I really don't want people relapsing.)
• hating himself.
• Quackbur. (Sorta)
• Quackity sobbing over Wilbur's death. (When Phil stabbed him.)
Let's get onto the sad shit
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WilburSoot was slain by Ph1lzA using [ Philza hiasobi benihime].
Quackity stared at the message for a long time. His eyes filled with tears as he watched Wilbur, his body going limp as he was stabbed by Phil.
He stared as he watched wilbur's eyes close and his long torso fall back, as his life slowly slipped away.
It took all of Quackity's might not to drop his sword, as his grip weakened and his legs began to carry him far, far away from this place. To somewhere where he could cry his heart out without the fear of being seen, watched or heard.
It was the second time he had felt true heartbreak. Although this time, he knew it would be the last, and the worst.
Sure, Quackity had been in numerous relationships, but not one had felt so goddamn loving. So caring, so fucking sweet to the point where Quackity could even touch Wilbur and immediately feel safe.
And now he couldn't.
His legs ran and ran and ran, no matter how tired he got, his body forced him to just run, run until he collapsed under the shade of a tree, his feet aching, falling to his knees as he let out a heart broken wail.
Quackity sobbed under the tree.
He'd never cried so fucking hard before, not even when Karl and Sapnap had broken toes and left him. This was something only drastic measures could fix.
And yet, for some reason, he didn't wanna fix it. Because he knew that Wilbur would eventually come back, even if it meant waiting up to 13 years. Whatever the cost, Quackity was willing to pay.
And so, every night, Quackity would find himself unconsciously walking to Wilbur's place of death, where he would place a singular white rose petal. He would then write one small word, and leave it there for the next night.
He repeated this every, single night. Every, single night he would stroll down to this place, add a petal, and add a word.
A couple times, he brought wilbur's guitar with him, beginning to strum a solemn tune, to which he would sing along to.
“And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours.. but I've sang them all to two other hearts..”
Quackity would sing this song once every month, marking each day until his Wilbur would come back.
(SH⚠️)
At the start of his counting, he would count the days on his wrist.
He would use a sharp dagger, and cut one small cut into his arm until he thought of the idea to drop a rose petal and write a word.
Quackity had many thoughts to do this in past relationships, counting the days before he was hurt again, counting the days before he was cuddled again, etc etc. He found the pain almost stress-relieving. As if it was making his emotions a real, physical mark on his skin that he could point at and blame. Actually have something to blame and curse out.
He would stare at himself in the mirror, and judge his looks, telling himself he was only pretty if he could fit the beauty standards, which, of course, isn't true. But he began to starve himself. He began to drink. Quackity began to do anything he could to cope with the pain.
He did anything he could to avoid having to think about his loneliness, although he was greeted with an empty house, each time he returned to his house.
It got to the point where he was staying with Tommy because he just couldn't stand the house he used to love being so empty.
“Tommy..” He muttered, his voice weak due to not taking care of himself.
“Hm?” Tommy answered, being as gentle as he could with Quackity.
“Why did Wil tell Phil to kill him.. was he not happy.. with me..?” Quackity spoke, his voice breaking as he spoke about his love.
“I.. I don't know Q.. I thought he was happy.. with all of us.. and I suppose he was. But he hated himself..” Tommy muttered, unsure himself as to why his beloved older brother had begged his own father to kill him.
“It wasn't you, Q.” Tommy reassured him, noticing how his eyes ever so slightly flickered to the kitchen blade resting in the knife holder on the kitchen counter.
“Do you wanna go place some flowers where he died..?” Tommy asked, gently rubbing Quackity's back, guiding him up and over to some flowers he had brought from Niki.
“Come on, Grab those red ones. I know they can signal love.”
They walked slowly to the death site, Tommy making small talk.
“Tommy.. I-.. I don't feel like talking..”
Quackity mumbled, his head clouded from god knows what.
“That's alright, Big Q.” He responded, and so they continued to walk together towards their destination.
When they arrived, Tommy was.. confused.
“Why.. Why are there so many flower petals and.. words?” He questioned, glancing up at Quackity who was staring down, his eyes tearing up.
He bent down and removed each petal from one of the roses, placing them in the shape of a heart.
“Quackity.. You did this, didn't you?” Tommy questioned, his tone soft.
“...” He was silent, staring down at the petals as tears flowed down his flushed cheeks.
“Quackity, sit down with me.” Tommy said, grabbing his hand and leading him over to the wall, where he sat down, leaning against it.
Quackity followed suit, his eyes glossy and puffy.
“Wanna talk?” He suggested, speaking gently.
“Y-yeah..” Quackity stuttered, taking a deep breath before he revealed what had been going on while Wilbur had been gone.
“i.. I was using a dagger and counting the days on my wrists..,” He showed Tommy his scarred wrists. “But.. it got too crowded, so I began coming here and removing a rose petal and placing it down, aswell as a word.. A-and.. I needed to do it because I felt as though if I didn't I wouldn't be doing anything for him.. and.. I needed to keep myself busy so I wouldn't cut..” His tears poured down his cheeks. “i-i was crying m-myself to sleep every night.. I would l-look in the m-mirror and s-shame myself u-until i-i felt l-like trash n-nobody wanted.. For Fuck sake, I c-couldnt even figure out that he wanted to die a-and I've t-thought about it myself! I'm so fucking shit! I'm nothing but a piece of shit that nobody deserves to deal with..!” Quackity yelled, his hands clutched over his slightly chubby stomach, which, not to mention, Wilbur truly loved so much. “I-im so fat that n-nobody would ever want me.. I have all these scars over my body.. a-and they are a-all just ugly!”
He shamed himself as a, now crying, Tommy hugged him close.
“I'm fucking worthless!” He screamed at himself.
“Quackity! You aren't any of that stuff! You are perfect just the way you are and I know that it wasn't you who made Wilbur.. do what he did.. it was the politics, schlatt, the fact that no matter what he did, he couldn't get back that nation he built.. It wasn't you, Ok? It was the World , Big Q. I know that if the world hadn't been so shit to him, he wouldn't have done it. He would have stayed with you. I know it.” Tommy spoke firmly, Staring deep into the duck's eyes as he described what he knew about his big brother's reasoning.
“It.. I-it wasn't me..?” He stuttered, his cheeks now stained with tears.
Tommy chuckled lightly.
“No-no.. It was never you.. I promise.” He giggled, hugging Quackity as if he was a family member he hadn't seen in years who he loved greatly.
Quackity giggled too, surprised at such a moment they had just shared.
“Well.. That's one way to bond.. Heh..” Quackity chuckled, dusting himself off as he got up, reaching out a hand to pull the younger up.
“Hell yeah..”
They walked back to Tommy's house, the roses placed and the long letter that had taken many days to write, now finished.
The walk back was much happier, the two laughing and joking as they distracted themselves from the gloom that covered what once was L'manberg.
It was late night when they arrived, the slim moon shining brightly despite its minimal size.
“Now, Promise me that you won't cut again, Ok?” Tommy held Q's hands in his own, staring into Quackity's eyes.
“I promise.”
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AHAHAHA I HOPE YA ENJOYEDDDDDDD
I HAVE AM INTERVIEW FOR A NEW MEMBER OF STAFF AT MY SCHL TMR SO YIPPIEEEEE
ILY, MAKE SURE YOU EAT, DRINK AND SLEEP PLENTY MY LOVE <3
