The Sword Of A Princess

CHAPTER SIXTY-FOUR

Lionel

I had too many emotions rushing through by body at all times of the day, and I was stuck without any way to release them. I felt myself growing angrier over the months that passed, I tried to hold them in and act like everything was okay.

But it never was.

After seeing Cole and his bride get married, seeing that look on Athena's face as she watched, I knew I had to do something to stop all the pain she was going to suffer through.

Marry me. Athena wanted more from life- more from me.

It would have been a life I once would have fought for, with her- now, after everything that happened, it's the last thing I wanted to do with her. She would become too happy, too in love and I would be stuck pretending to be okay so she wouldn't worry over me.

I'd watch her look after me, say she didn't mind doing it, then as time went on she'd get annoyed over things. We'd fight and I'd be a burden again.

I had made a plan in my mind to start an argument with her, and I guess I did, I had never seen her so angry at me before. I felt so empty inside watching her slam the door.

I'm not going to stay here and watch you die.

How could I have ever expected her to do such a thing. If I was going to do this, I had to do it myself- and, away from her.

I heard Athena screaming in her sleep that night taunted by nightmares. I sat on the edge of my bed and cried into my disfigured hands, if I went and comforted her she'd grow attached again. I was frozen.

Summer was still a month away, although, it would be better if I left now and did it myself while she was mad at me. While she hated me.

I had spent my entire life falling in love with her, watching her grow and become a woman I couldn't get enough of. Her scent stuck to everything in my room, the bed sheets, my skin- her clothes hung over the back of a chair, strands of her silk blonde hair that had fallen out on the pillows while she slept peacefully beside me.

Every time I thought of her I saw her beautiful smile.

There was so much that had happened that ruined everything for us both. I blamed myself for what happened with Arthur. But I wasn't the kind of person to keep my mouth shut about things.

I made her fall in love with me. I was kind to her while she was stuck in a place she was drowning in. I know she loves me still, and by the gods I love her with my entire heart. I hoped there was another life were we could have happily been together without any of the shit that happened, where we were never taken by her father, never lost time rotting in that cell, had the chance to marry and start a family of our own.

Instead I was back inside that hole, laying frozen surrounded by that dark void. I couldn't move, couldn't scream for help. A part of me had been cut out and ripped to shreds. I wasn't whole anymore.

The only thing I knew was pain.

I was broken beyond repair, nothing could change me back to the man I once was. I remembered I loved life with a passion I can't even fathom anymore.

Once the war started things were a little different and I had to switch my mind to focus on fighting, the only time I could switch back was when her arms were wrapped around me when I returned home.

The first time I got to experience all of her was one of the best days of my life. I had never felt a person like the way I moved with her. Athena's body was intoxicating, I'd bury myself in her scent if I could. Everything about her pulls me in.