What if Blitzo adopted Dipper and Mabel from Gravity Falls after their parents died? Watch as they navigate misadventures, killing people, and their new life in Hell. Without dying.
Note: This is an AU, so some stuff may not be canon. Like Blitzo ad...
Loona, on her phone, says, sarcastically, "Wow, I feel so loved here."
"Just take a deep breath, and let it out!" Millie tells Moxxie with a smile.
"But...it's a family! Under what circumstances should we kill a human family?!" Moxxie says, worried.
"If that's what the client wants." Millie shrugs.
"I honestly agree with Moxxie, I mean, me and Mabelare humans." Dipper says.
"Oh, Dipper, you'll get used to it. After all, murder is important for Hell-raised humans like you." Millie smiles.
"Yeah, plus I get to go on murders with them!" Mabel says, happily.
Dipper is very jealous of her going with them.
"What's wrong?" Mabel asks Dipper.
"It's nothing." Dipper says, smiling for her sake.
"You're jealous, aren't you?" Moxxie asks him.
"No I'm not!" Dipper lies.
"Sweetie, he loves you and your siblings. It's just, maybe..."
"What?" Dipper says.
"Maybe ask him." Moxxie advises him.
"Okay." Dipper smiles.
"Yeah, and besides, maybe you'll get to kill some fuckers too!" Mabel says enthusiastically.
"Thanks guys." Dipper says, comforted.
Moxxie goes back to the subject.
"Anyways, I can understand a shitty dad...or a mob family, that's understandable..." Moxxie says, the latter sentence in a faux-mafia accent.
"But to eradicate an entire innocent, seemingly innocent in this case, upper middle class family bloodline?!" Moxxie says, terrified.
Loona looks at the photo, sadly, before changing her mood and sternly showing the photo.
"Hey, you don't know they're innocent!" Loona tells him.
"This kid probably sets dogs on fire! Maybe this girl bullies Australian kids online, and this guy...this guy definitely watches..." Loona says, venom in her voice at the last part.
"Exactly! Humans, including these little devils, are full of secret nasties!" Millie says, affectionately calling Dipper and Mabel 'little devils', before continuing "That's why so many end up here."
"Guilty and innocent aren't our business, Moxx. Killing people is our business! Shoot the target." She says as she kisses him on the cheek.
"I just think it's a bit excessive, and maybe we could be a little selective, that's all-" Moxxie says, but is interrupted by Blitzo swinging the door open with a female sinner client next to him.
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