When i still live in my previous lives , i have watch a movie called Cruella de Vill , one of the quotes that keep repeating on my baby minds is there are 5 stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Denial -Before this i quite denied this reality and i cried for a few weeks continuedly which they ultimately isolated me in a single small room with small window which i can properly see the full moon is being formed into a half crescent it seem 2 -3 weeks had passed . i cried and cried and some part of my brain keep asking me to stop to cry and began my plan to survive in this unknown world. However my own mind had been spilt into two and it felt so messy and so stressful. I felt like i will have anxiety and start to wonder can a baby developed an anxiety in early stage of their life ,i laugh but suddenly i remember but i am not a baby i am 23 years old girl that stuck in baby forms .
Anger- After the cried and some stressful thinking, i suddenly felt so angry like WHY ME ?!! WHY ME?!!!!! I HAVE MY LIFE SORTED OUT!! I ALREADY PLANNED MY LIFE ?!!!!!! WHY ME ?!! GIVE ME A REASON WHY AM I THE ONE TO BE CHOOSEN IN THIS FUCKING STUPID JOKE !! AM I NOT FAITFULL ENOUGH? IS THIS MY PUNISHMENT ?? PLEASE ANSWER THIS .. I AM NOT A KID OR TEENAGE THAT MIGHT BE HAPPY TO BE TRANSFERRED SUDDENLY IN A VERY RANDOM WORLD . I LOVE MY LIFE EVEN IT HARD. WHY KEEP MY MEMORIES ? WHY I HAVE TO SUFFERED....
Bargaining - After I keep screaming in my baby voice, my own brain still make some reasonable reason like i still keep my memories and my skills from previous life and can make some survival from it I just need to honed my skills and increased my knowledge ,and i have to build some connection and some friends and allies caused I am all alone in this world it might be good too i just need to be out of my comfort zone to build the relationship and allies which will burned me out.. But still imagine if I at attack on titan world like certain fanfic i read , I might killed my self first and burned my body to ensured the titan will never touch me , but if this is a attack on titan world i should stay with the one that live , and I might live until my old age the one that caused my death. But still I wish I not born in attack on titan it a nasty world. and just a normal weird world.
Depression- It a stage that had been occurred along my all stage ,no matter how hard I cried , this is not dream it reality but still ...... is my previous life is end like that in 23 years old ? it like wasted like that , i never had a real life adventurous in abroad which is sky diving in new Zealand , snorkelling in Maldives island , having a dinner at Greece and spend my money on clothes , perfume , jewel and makeup at Paris and Sweden , watching some classic ballerina show in Russia and some car racing at Formula 1 and joined some concert .I still so young and i haven't finished all my to do list for my adult life and why i died so early .Why me ??? Are my friends, family missing me or they will eventually forget me after certain period of time and only remember small fragment of me in their mind . Or am I is an easy pick caused my life is too ordinary . I cried silently while thinking all of this and wonder is this my punishment for my life being too ordinary ? I also wonder if i killed myself in this world , will i go back to my original world ?
Acceptance- A stage that look so easy but hard to be done .. it hard to accept this is my life . it already a month i am in here . in my culture a baby that is 1 months old will be introduced to all of the relatives and being celebrated . it seem like the celebration will not be held in here either it is not even exists or i am just an orphan . I just found out i am an orphan baby girl when i just found out where am i , an orphanage . I found out my gender caused i suddenly met some reflection on a mirror that had been stucked on the wall. The caretaker give bath to us , all of the babies together which make me wonder the safety of this task even their motives is to save some times , soap and water which suddenly I found out my reflection. I looked like a baby a skinny but healthy baby girl when i lowered my eyes to my lower half . It seem in this world i have dark green thick curly hair that stuck out from my head like a typically bad drawn doll by the kids in classroom in kindergartens in my previous worlds and I also have beautiful neon green eyes which is remined me Undertaker from the Black butler and a nice beige skin like a soft beige . It really contrast form my old appearances which is dark brown eyes and black wavy hair and honey medium tan skin. My new appearances is beautiful as my old appearances but still it look weird to see someone else reflection in the mirror despised it is my new look on my new body. The care takers is smiling when she notice me admired my reflection and maybe i felt awe at my looks she picked me up and held me closely :" Oh , what you look at that girl ? your reflection? are you just admired your reflection? you will be a very beautiful girl when you grow up but maybe a little cry-baby." While she is pointed to my reflection and pinch my cheek afterwards. We being cleaned and feeded afterwards. The care takers had decide to put me back on the previous place among the babies fie to my "good" behaviour and give me a nicer treatment due to lack of my cried. I just accept partially of this to ensured I did not placed on isolated room which had a small window and a very bad ventilation. I looked at my side and looked at the moon that had been from half crescent is formed into a full moon again and i am 2 months old now and i wish my brain and my heart to accept this is my new world and my new reality.
Should i said how long i accepted this until my next mental breakdown happened again it is 9 months later based on the 9 new moon that i observed in the sky every night which indicated i should be 11 months . It all happened caused one this particular person came to the orphanage. I start to walk when i am 9 months old after i crawled whole area of the room which suddenly i want to walk . i keep holding some chair , some table so i can started to walk and it surprised lots of caretakers and all of them are happy with my progress. After I learned some walk i also can explored more place despites my woogly movement . I also acts like a curious baby and pointed at all of stuff to the caretaker so that they can give me clue what is their language is ? Based on my observation it seem like a Japanese based on the character that had been wrote in the storybooks when they read me the storybooks . I already being called as an observant book worm kid due to my attachments with the books and my observation to surrounding when i bored based on the caretaker inside the orphanage. I start to wonder at which period I had been reborn and I quite scared caused even though Japan is a good develop first world country , it is highest in misogyny and inequality right for women but still it felt so weird caused based on other observation it seem it not a Japan cause some of the kids is not even look like Japanese due to their skin colour , facial and hair colour. I am not racist and i am Asian too specifically southeast Asian but Asian especially eastern Asian usually have fair skin, black hair and dark brown eyes but most of the orphanage resident even the caretakers seem not enough Japanese look. All of them have some weird combination of western-Asian mix.
One morning, all of the questions is finally answer when some of weird looking man with some weird looking outfits which suddenly make my memories seem to be triggered due to their clothing , suddenly i felt a slightly conceal aura , a deadly aura being conceal very good and tidy came forwards to the crowds of the kids , it seem he is a very influential cause all the caretakers seem so surprised and came forwards to greet him and i felt hyperventilate when i see the outfits he wears and the Chinese fire character on his hat while other keep calling him hokage-sama . IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE , PLEASE IS THIS JOKE ? GOD SERIOUSLY AM I IN NARUTO WORLD RIGHT NOW ? MY THEORY HAD BEEN STRENGHTEN WHEN I FOUND OUT HIS BODYGUARDS WEARING SOME SWRILLING SYMBOL IN HIS THIGHT AND SOME OF THE KIDS CALLING THEM "SHONOBI-SAN SHOW ME THE FIRE JUTSU !!" I just stand there silently while watching the scene in front of me and i just want to curse every universe but half of my brain still told me this is nice world than attack on titan . However in my logical mind Naruto world considered the one of the worst world to live based on my logical thinking. It is military based anime which each country had their own speciality , i already did not watch Naruto after new anime Boruto came out i completely did not watch it and I only know a basic line of the story due to manga and some episode that i wish to watched and it is 7 years ago . Based on what i remembered , this place is konoha and uchhiha massacred going to be happened and hyuga heiress going to be kidnapped by Kumo . I curse the person that brought me here why i being placed in this time line . However based on my logical calculation and the protagonist of the story that being brought by the Hokage-sama which Naruto is being held in his hand it seem i being born in the same day he being born due to the same size and some chaos had happened months ago and why the orphanage seem to be overpopulated. When hokage-sama introduced Naruto to the crowds , all of them eager to meets him except.... the caretakers .All of them looked at him with some sick hate sacred expression which they mask it quickly with some happy smile face ,however the ways their hands clutched their clothes tightly and their protected body language seem to be a bits different what they portrayed . One way to ovecome grief , and i should add one more is REVENGE .Which i can will be observed as a bystander from the caretakers to Naruto. Some of you might think oh you so weak, cowards and everything but how 1 year old baby can do to protect him . I should prioritised me first and he is a protagonist he will survived this world cause this is WORLD IS NAME BASED ON HIS NAME , UZUMAKI NARUTO not an unknown orphanage girl.
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FanfictionThis fanfic based on Naruto manga or anime the oc is female she/her , you will hate her slightly based on her thinking Not Mary sue so don't expect some kekei genkai she did not have any of this she is survivalist so expect her do some decision th...
