Papa

Papa,

How are you? I want you to know that I'm really missing you. It has been a while since we last talked and I am really sorry for that. Since you left, I've been through a lot. Coping up has never been easy. I always feel sad and lonely, thinking no one would save me. But then I remembered how you took care of me and how you raised me even when Mama left us. You taught me how to be strong and not to give up. I was able to stand up on my own.

Currently, I have a job, living in my own apartment, paying my own bills and sustaining my needs. I guess I'm a big girl now, huh? :) I grew up emotionally, mentally and physically but I still have this childish/weird side of me, I think I got it from you? :D

As far as your concerned, I never had a boyfriend? Yes, I never had one when you were still here (because you're strict and you scare them away). These past few years, I've met different guys, different kinds, different personality etc.

You can't blame me, Papa. I've been alone and lonely, I need an emotional companion. But it doesn't mean that I've become a slut or a bitch. I just had 3 boyfriends, some of them I just met and went out on a few dates but nothing happened. (LET ME JUST BE CLEAR WITH THAT BEFORE YOU EXPLODE).

Yeah, love hurts. It made me cry, it made my eyes swell and it made me bitter as well.

Yeah, I love the feeling of being in love. It inspires me, motivates me, makes me feel happy and it makes me feel alive. Over all I have learned a lot. Who would have thought your baby girl is capable of "love" ? :)

But honestly, there are times that I wanted to stop loving because I am tired of crying and being hurt. Heartaches and mistakes, how long can I take them?

Maybe I'm also afraid, I don't want my relationship to end up just like yours. I just don't want it to happen to me, because I know what you've been through and how hard it is to raise a kid on your own, I'm not as strong as you.

Everything changed when I met a man 2 years ago. He showed me the best things in life, and for me he was my Mr. Right. He accepted me for who I am . He makes me feel happy and he makes me feel alive. He tries to understand my mood even it is not so good. And most of all he loves me, the way you did. I remember you told me that if a man really loves you, he will want to share his life with you.

One day, we were in a coffee shop, he asked me a question that made my whole world stopped. On his bended knees, with a sparkling ring on his hand, "Will you marry me?" he asked. My goodness, Papa! You should have seen my face. Is this real? Was I dreaming? Was I hallucinating? Words aren't enough to express what I'm feeling that time. I can't help but smile, my heart was overflowing with joy, tears started to run down my cheeks. I never felt that happy before. Happiness runs through my veins. Damn! I am so in love with this guy. And I finally said "yes" to the man whom I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Tomorrow is my wedding day, Papa. I am happy yet something is missing, maybe because you aren't here with me. Since I was a child I have always been dreaming of you walking me down the aisle, giving me away to the man that I love, which I know will remain as a DREAM. If only I could borrow you from HIM on my special day, I will be the happiest bride ever. But I know you are at peace and happy up there. :)

Thank you for everything, Papa. There may not be a perfect father, but for me you are the PERFECT ONE. I may not have a mom on my side, but I don't mind because I have you. If I will be given a chance to have a second life, I will still choose you as my father.

I love you, Papa and I will always do.

P.S.

I may found my Prince but you will always be my King. :)

Love,

Tin

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