21. Emmerson

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I leave work early, and even as I ride my bike back to the residence building, half my mind is still stuck pressed up against the cart, Aidan between my legs, a wildfire of desire blazing between us

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I leave work early, and even as I ride my bike back to the residence building, half my mind is still stuck pressed up against the cart, Aidan between my legs, a wildfire of desire blazing between us.

The last time we were together like that, at the security hut, I have a vague sense of the moment feeling intense, but it's like the memory has been coated over with something I can't identify. It's there, but it's not.

But my core is still throbbing with suppressed need, and each motion on the bike reminds me of how badly I wanted him, how fully I would have given myself to him. Being with Aidan, even in that short time, in that very narrow way, was unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It makes me feel like there's nothing I wouldn't do for him. That he could ask me for anything, even my life, and I'd give it to him. Offer myself on a platter, spread wide for his taking.

Insane. It's insane to think this way, and yet it's the most persistent, loud thought I've ever had in my life. Whatever happened between us in the state park, it makes me feel like I need him the same way I need air. He's that vital to my survival.

Your thoughts are loud, Aidan says in my head.

Sorry. My face blazes with heat at the realization he heard all of that, and I don't know why he would have. I should get to choose what I share.

I think it's because we were so connected back there. My working theory.

Well, I don't like it.

No, you definitely didn't like any part of it. Not even a little bit. The moaning was quite clearly discomfort.

I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. Shut up.

Nah. You can't keep me out. You don't know how.

Should I know how?

Maybe. Hard to say. Not everyone does. I started learning how to shield my thoughts the minute I could talk. Some of it was instinct, other situations required training. 

Why don't you ever run beside me when you follow me? You're always running in the woods. Is the way you run really freaky?

Yes, that's exactly why I'm not running beside you. I'm embarrassed about how I run.

His tone is extremely aggravating. Obviously, that's not the reason, but it doesn't give me any way to know what's actually happening.

I have to tell Hailey that I'm leaving.

Fine. We can stop at her place on the way out of town.

She won't want me to go. Might want to come with us.

Too dangerous.

He's dismissive, but my gut tells me that Hailey won't be easily deterred. She could have gotten into any college anywhere with the grades she had. Unlike me, whose version of learning was like wading through a thick fog to find answers to schoolwork, Hailey seemed to have them all at her fingertips.

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