Beeduo oneshots

Life is a curse; it'll kill you if you let it.

title from High Enough, if you see this on AO3 it's also me! Just started posting on it, 

ANGST, NO FLUFF, ANGST, HEHE

Follow me on AO3 (If you want??) 

TW: Alcohol, pills, OD, Underage (Ik if you are in England you can drink at 19 but let's say it goes by American rules, 21 years- k?) Death, Su!c!d3.

Tubbo said he'd never lose hope, till hope lost him.

Tubbo sat at the same desk he'd never wanted to be at again, staring intently at a blank paper, plastered with tears. His pen was held tightly in his hand, wondering his mind for words to say. No, he hadn't lost hope, hope has lost him, at least over 20 bottles of alcohol-laced the floor, all drank and or smashed. His blank stare was full of despair yet confusion, Michael was with Tommy and Phil at the moment, as he couldn't take care of him anymore.

'Boo.

I understand you are mad, but please come home, Michael needs you, I need you, Tommy needs you, please, what made you leave us?'

He began on the paper, his handwriting sloppy from his intake of alcohol. He thought for a moment, clicking his pen on the desk a few times.

'Michael wants you to play together, I haven't told him yet, I just can't, please,'

He continued on the paper. He swallowed the knot in his throat harshly, slight tears pricked his eyes, his mind was fuzzy and he didn't really understand what was going on, everything was so confusing and unclear to him at the moment.

'Please, come home, we're waiting, we've been waiting, we want to know your at least ok -Bee'

He finished. He folded the paper and put it into an envelope, He whistled and Phil's crow cawed at the window, Tubbo stumbled, getting up and carefully getting over the shattered glass and bottles, handing the crow the envelope, ''Give it to -Hic- Ranboo,'' Tubbo mumbled, (he hiccupped because he's drunk obviously) And sat back down, the crow left with a flap of its wings and another caw. Tubbo looked around, everything was spinning and blurring, he began to see things, usually Tommy, Ranboo, Michael, and himself having fun, but there were a few sad or disturbing ones, Tubbo began to think about stuff, although his mind was fuzzy. He is so tired, so so tired, he's exhausted, he doesn't know what to do, and he can't handle everything, he can barely take care of himself, he pretty much can't even see his own son anymore. 'Too bad' no one was here to stop him, pills were scattered on the desk, the bottle tipped over, and Tubbo was leaning against the desk, foaming from the mouth, this was it, the very end...

In the end, he didn't want to give up, but he was given up on.

Pretty short, but sad, also I didn't go into detail about his OD because I know some people struggle with that so it was a reference, but you know what happened after, if you don't, DM me and I'll explain.  -Gogysaurus