DIRTY

20 SAM 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶

I staggered a little before turning and taking off running down the street. I kept running as I turned the corner. In my ears I could hear Bayleigh running behind me. She was the only one fast enough to even keep up with me, so I knew it was her. After turning the corner, I got a few blocks down until I reached a small park. I stopped running and leaned over, placing my hands on my knees. My body was weak and trembling. My vision was blurred, my chest felt like it was on fire and my breathing was erratic.

Fucking cigarettes.

I felt like I was that terrified little boy again. A different state every day, trapped on a bus on the road with the devil himself that he called father.

"Sam, Sam are you okay?" Bayleigh asked out of breath.

I didn't want her to see me this way. I didn't want her to see me dissipating and turning weak right before her eyes.

"Go away!" I growled.

"No, what's going on with you, one minute you were fine..." Bayleigh started.

"Bayleigh I said LEAVE!!" I screamed, leaning up from my knees.

I was dizzy as shit now as I tried to get my breathing under control.

"No" Bayleigh bit back.

My jeep came to a screeching halt at the end of the sidewalk by the park. Cera hopped out of the driver's side and Lynx out the passenger side. I'd forgotten that Cera knew how to drive a manual as well. I taught her years ago in case she needed to use the car to escape dad while I was locked up. In her hands she was carrying a bottle of water and what looked like a wet towel.

"Cera leave me alone" I groaned, still breathing rapidly.

"Fuck that, kneel down" Cera demanded.

I exhaled, but obeyed, kneeling down on the balls of my feet, resting my forearms on my thighs and knees.

"Cera I'm fine" I lied.

"Yea I'm sure you are" Cera frowned. She wasn't having any of my shit.

She aggressively handed me the bottle of water. I growled and snatched the water from her. She came around behind me and placed the cold, wet cloth on the back of my neck.

"Dude what happened?" Lynx asked.

"Panic attack" Bayleigh answered.

I nodded, my breath finally falling even.

"He used to get them when we were kids, we both did" Cera explained.

"Jesus, I'm so sorry" Bayleigh replied softly.

"It's not your fault" I gasped, after taking a huge swig of the bottle of water.

"What caused this?" Bayleigh asked.

"Repressed memories, we didn't necessarily have a cookie cutter childhood" Cera explained.

"But isn't Jamie Jessup your dad?" Lynx asked with confusion.

"Yea" Cera and I replied in unison.

I took another huge swig of water.

"Come on, let's just get you back to the house" Cera insisted.

I nodded in agreement.

An hour or so later, I found myself sitting on the back deck of the house. The back deck was a small, raised platform surrounded by string lights. The steps led down and out to the edge of a lake and a few feet from a small boat house. There were a few small couches set up along the sides and a patio set. There was even a longer couch and grill under the covering. I leaned on the railing of the deck, looking out at the lake while I smoked a cigarette. From behind me, I could hear the patio door slide open, and then closed. Bayleigh stepped up beside me, blanket wrapped around her, and leaned on the railing.