Emails

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Mother. She tries not to think of her after hearing or the bad she did to her fathers. She sits down in the large, leather armchair which swallows you up as soon as you sit down and waits to hear further. She visited her mother – Vanessa – quite regularly as a small child but then as she got older and begun to understand the seriousness of prison she visited less and less; until a year ago she stopped altogether after Elli slipped about what she had done to earn herself a place in a cell. "What's happened?" Emmeline asks with a slight quiver in her voice.

"Your mum is..." Tom leans forward on the sofa, "She is coming out of prison." Emmy lets the words sink in for a moment. She knew that one day this would happen but she did not realise it would be so soon and she is not prepared. "She has bought a flat around the corner and is getting a job in an old friend's café." Tom does not know if he is telling her this to make herself feel slightly better or so he can get all the information out quickly. He is a bit flummoxed.

"W-w-what does this mean?" She stutters with her brow furrowed.

"It means...you can see her as much as you want." He answers.

"Within reason." Benedict adds.

"Yes. Within reason." Tom agrees. Emmy looks down at her twitching hands which seem to be rubbing together subconsciously. It is a nervous action that her and Tom shares which Benedict noticed as soon as Emmy started preschool. He briefly smiles at the memory until her next words snap him back to the present.

"What if I don't want to?" She asks in a serious tone.

"Please just think about it." He pleads, "Or you could just send her an email." He receives no response apart from a look of despair from his daughter. "Look Ben and I think-"

"He thinks." Benedict inputs.

"Right okay. I think that it would be best to get to know your mother, you could go and do girly things or maybe-" Before he can finish. Emmeline has already got up and left the room to find sanctuary in her own bedroom. She feels safe there.

She rushes up the stairs and straight into her bedroom where she slams the door and slides down the back of it while her breathing becomes ragged. She wraps herself in her arms and tries to steady her breathing. She is having a panic attack. "Come on Emmy..." She tells herself between her short breaths, "Do what Max said." She inhales for eight seconds before exhaling. She repeats this action several times until her breaths become easier and the rhythm more regular when something catches her eye which is stored underneath her bed. She stumbles to her knees and crawls over to her bed and pulls to object out from under it. It is a pink photo album with Emmeline Rose written across the front in silver glitter; her mother gave it to her father the day before she was arrested. It contains baby photos and other photos of her and her mother from the visits they had with added pictures of Tom and Benedict. She gets to her feet and slouches onto her desk chair before placing the album on the desk.

Emmeline lifts open the hard cover and starts to scan each page continue many photographs. She turns every page and studies each image in detail and she can see that although her mother did some terrible things that she obviously loved her. She can see it in her eyes. Emmy sighs prior to lifting up the lid to her laptop and opens the email application. She clicks on the compose email icon and adds her mum's email address to the receiver field. Her fingers hover over the keys to her keyboard while she is in deep thought. She has no idea what to write.

Hello Mother...

She curses under her breath at the formality of the email she has started to write before hitting the backspace key numerous times to remove the two words.

Hi Mum,

It has been a while...like since we have talked and stuff. My fathers told me about you being released and your flat and job and that.

She screws up her fist and pounds it onto the desk. She feels stuck. She has no idea what to write and how to write it. There is a knock at her door making her roll her eyes, "What is it?!" She shouts. She is really in no mood for company.

"I just wanted to check that you are alright Hun." Benedict's deep voice finds its way through the gap under the door and the crevasses where the wood meets the frame. "I hear a thud. Just wanted to make sure that it wasn't your head hitting a wall." He tries to joke but Emmy hears the sincerity in his voice. Even though she is not biologically related to Ben, he feels like an actual father to her so she smiles.

"I'm fine dad, promise." She responds as she deletes the words on the page.

"Okay if you are sure. Dinner will be at six." He informs her and walks off back down the stairs to reconvene with his husband. Emmeline pulls her hair out of the hair band and ruffles it to make it feel more natural.

Hi Mum,

I'm sorry that I haven't been in contact for a while, I've just been so busy with school and stuff. My dads told me that you are being released, which is great! Maybe finally I can have girly chats with someone who isn't male. :D

They have told me about your flat and your job, I am so glad that you're getting back on your feet again. We should meet up sometime. I know you will be busy with getting back into things but we can meet up as soon as you are ready I guess. Just pre-warning, that from now on I will be a lot busier than I have been because I got the lead in the school's production of Romeo and Juliet. And Max got Romeo! You know Max right? Elli and Nate's eldest...anyway. I will have to tell you more about that another time but you might want to know that he is my best friend and always has been.

It has just occurred to me that we don't know a lot about each other...so here is a couple of things:

-          I am quite musical. I primarily play the drums but I'm not too bad on the piano and guitar

-          I am an avid gamer, so I don't come out of my room that often XD

-          I'm not too sociable...but I am trying to change that

Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon?

Love Emmy x

Without a second of thought, she clicks the send button and pauses when she realises the implications of what she has done. She is going to have a mum. Properly. She relaxes instantly and makes a mental note to flaunt her in front of the bullies to prove she has a mother. "Emmy!" Tom calls up the stairs, "Will you lay the table please?!"

"Coming!" She shouts back and scampers out of her room.

\~.~.~.~.~/

To my darling Emmeline Rose,

You are right, it has been so long! Too long. I cannot wait to meet up with you, we should set a date. I don't know if you'd rather go to coffee shop or come to mine or go bowling or something. And if it would make you feel better, Tom can come to. And Benedict I guess.

Congratulations on getting the lead in your school play! I would love to get a ticket to watch you perform! Like father, like daughter I guess. You will have to tell me all about Max, your other friends and your interests in person but you sound like a rather spectacular girl with a wide range of interests.

I hope one day you will forgive me for all the wrong I have done,

Love you,

Mum x

Emmeline smiles when she reads the reply apart from the part about having other friends. She decides to shrug that off and play GTA.


A/n hey guys! Please comment and vote, it really means a lot. I have so nearly finished exams...well my last one is the 12th of June. So after that updates will be more regular on all three of my current ongoing fanfictions! Woooooooooooooooooooh ~ Mae 

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