The End of Eden

XXV

The screams echo across all of Eden, my throat immediately ragged from it. I bolted upright when I woke up, and I can feel Four's hand on my back, and I can hear them talking but I don't understand a thing they are saying to me.

My hands are over my body, checking for bite marks, scratches, anything, but my body is unmarked.

"What's wrong?" I hear Two ask, leaning over to watch me frantically pat myself. I don't answer him; instead, I sit up, and wrap the blanket around me and stare at the ground as I take deep gasping breaths.

Of course there would be no marks; it happened in a dream. But every single moment felt so real, the pain of Sleep biting me, the way he entered into my body, everything I felt, everything he did to me. It was real. It wasn't real.

It is real.

"Can you take me home?" I whisper suddenly, and every vessel silences his chatter as I speak. Four stands first, his hand falling from my back, then Two, who hands me my clothes as he and Four both help me stand on shaky legs. I don't care that I am naked as I drop my blanket and pull on my clothes, then slip on my shoes. I roll the blanket up in my arms and we start our walk back to the sanctum.

We do not speak about what had me screaming as we walk, but every single one of them turns to look at me occasionally, because I am quiet and trailing behind them, not meeting anyone's eyes, nor holding anyone's hands.

What would I tell them anyway? That Sleep is some sort of awful looking god who literally consummated my union with him? That would probably not go over well, even if they also shared the weird dreams of Sleep, and the same strange visions I have of him in the waking hours once the night has fallen.

Even if I hear his voice all around me, when they may not.

It is full dark by the time we get back to the sanctum. I don't invite any vessel in as I step through my doorway and immediately fall onto my bed, my wet braid slapping the pillow when my head lands on it. I know they are all left in the entryway, unsure of whether to come in or leave, so I sit back up and tell them all to go away before flinging myself back down on my bed.

All but one does.

He doesn't linger in the doorway; instead he comes right in, shutting the door behind him. He quietly makes his way over to me, and the bed sinks down as he sits next to me, his hand finding mine to hold on to.

"If you want to talk about whatever scared you," Four says. His body settles down onto the bed beside mine.

"I don't," I whisper. He doesn't insist. He leaves it open for me to speak if I want to but I don't. Because I don't know what to actually say.

We lay for a while in silence, the soft golden glow from a lamp the only light in the room. I let my free hand run down from my neck, over my chest, to my abdomen. I know it's probably from my swim, or my mind playing tricks on me, or still from our wedding night, but the ache of sex is there. It scares me.

I bolt upright again, startling Four for the second time that night.

"I need to speak with Vessel," I say, dropping his hand as I slide off the bed. He sits up and watches me, but I can't read the look in his eyes as I walk away from him, and I knock on the door connecting my room with Vessel's. It takes a moment for him to answer, but he does, his eyes roving over me, to Four, sitting on my bed.

I don't say anything to Vessel when I walk into the inner sanctum, and instead of sinking onto his bed like every other time I've been here, I pick an armchair, and curl up on it, my feet digging into the seat as I bend my knees, my arms wrapping around my legs.