XXXI

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Neither Four nor I tell anyone what secret we have shared between us.

But Sleep knows.

I know he knows, because he is with me everywhere now, including that night of the full moon, including every time a vessel is with me, and when I am alone. He slips into my dreams at night, no matter who I am with, whether I am alone, beside Four, or beside them all.

I am never alone.

And still, I fight it.

All it does is upset him.

For days after the last full moon, Four sneaks into my room. We silently lock all the doors we can, and Sleep watches me tear off Four's mask, throw it to the ground, and leave it behind. Every chance I have to free him from it, I take it.

When we join together, all is lost from around us. Nothing and no one else exists beyond the cocoon of our bodies we have made for ourselves. We forget about Eden, the other vessels, and Sleep. And in those moments, instead of worshiping Sleep with our bodies, we worship each other only, and after, we doze off in each other's arms, or redress and go about our business for the day.

I am sitting in the rose garden one hot summer morning, a few weeks after the full moon, when Sleep edges from around a white rose bush to watch me, and I lower the book to my lap.

You scorn me.

I level my eyes at him. "I am your obedient wife," I whisper. "A humble supplicant to you. I only am doing what you have brought me to Eden to do; love your vessels the way you cannot."

He steps closer to me, his huge form dwarfing even the tallest of rose bushes, and the trellises they are on.

Correct. They are my vessels.

I stare up at him, my mouth parted slightly. "But they are mine, too," I whisper.

They were mine before they were yours.

I swallow. There's a tinge of apprehension as he lowers himself to the ground beside where I sit on the bench. I edge barely away from him, but there's barely any more room for me to squeeze away from him.

My love, did you know that your Four is the third to carry that title?

My mouth dries, and my throat tightens. I don't answer him, I don't even move, not even a blink. Sleep continues.

I didn't think so. You see, the previous Four wanted out, to be freed from his mantle of being a vessel, for the voice inside his head to be silenced, to leave Eden behind. He was removed.

I try to swallow, but I can't get past the lump in my throat. I blink a few times, and still, I don't say anything.

The first one who called himself Four... do you want to know what happened to him?

I slowly start to shake my head no, because I can only imagine what Sleep is about to tell me.

He claimed he loved a sister of Eden. And in a heated moment, she took his mask off, and looked upon his face. Do you know why the vessels wear my face instead of their own? Because I have given them purpose. An identity, a life. They are nothing without me. And thus, the leave their faces and their names behind.

I can feel my heart start to pound. It makes me feel sick to my stomach, like I'm going to vomit up the breakfast I barely managed to choke down an hour ago. Tears prick at the corners of my burning eyes.

After they found out that he shirked his purpose, they took him to the pyre, where he burned.

The tears slip from my eyes as I close them, and I can feel the slightest shake in my body. I feel Sleep brush my hair from my face, then touch a finger to my lips. My eyes flutter open.

I know what you have shared. I know what is inside you, what is nestled deep inside you. Do not remove my face from him again. I never like finding new vessels. But they are easily replaced.

He stands and he walks from the rose garden, and I watch his form retreating away from me. When he's gone from my sight, I lean over the side of the bench, and throw up my breakfast.

I can barely keep myself together during the short walk back to the sanctum, where I creep silently into my room. I set the book down, long abandoned, and clean my mouth out, before going to the door that connects my room with Four's.

I'm crying again by the time Four opens the door that separates our two spaces.

"Little bird, what has happened?" He doesn't wait to pull me into his arms, and he pulls me into his room, shutting the door behind me.

"Have there been two previous Fours?" I ask, looking up at him through my blurry eyes. He looks down at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

"No one has ever told me there has been," he answers, his fingers brushing against my forehead. "Why?"

"Sleep said there was," I whisper, my fingers digging into the jacket he wears. "The first one was killed... for showing his f-face."

His eyes slowly close. "Little bird," he whispers, pulling me into him, tucking his chin on my head, his arms banding around me. "I will be fine. I promise. No one will know."

"Sleep knows. What if he tells the others?"

We are silent, except for my cries against his chest. Eventually, Four answers me.

"Then I will face whatever may come, and if they decide against me, then I will die a happy man, knowing that I shared my whole self with you."

There's a fresh wave of tears on my face, and he sweeps me up into his arms, and sets me gently on his bed, his body sliding in next to mine. We don't talk as I lay on him as I cry. His hands rub along my back, my head, my arms, until my cries are silenced.

Sleep has given me- has given us- a warning. He will allow this Four, my Four, to continue to live, as long as I don't see his face again. I could do it.

I have to. I don't think there would be anything left for me in Eden, if he leaves.

If my Four leaves, I will leave by his side.

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