Chapter 10

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Crushed couldn't begin to describe what it felt like having to go back to my room, knowing he wanted me in the same way I wanted him but that we would never stand a chance. It felt empty here already, and he wasn't even gone yet.

It bothered me that he'd have to return home to that situation with his mother. Not that his interactions with Randy had been anything less than awful, but at least here, I could have been there to support him. He really hadn't won in the parent department no matter how you cut it.

He'd only just begun to open up to me. I knew that if he stayed, we would have grown closer. I tried to convince myself that this was for the best because he was leaving in the summer anyway. But despite my self-talk, the ache in my chest just wouldn't go away.

I couldn't help envying all of those girls at school who'd gotten the chance to experience being with him on a physical level. Even though I connected with him in a different and better way, there was still a deep longing for what I'd missed.

My mother came in briefly to check on me and to ask if I'd heard the news about Elec leaving.

"You two seemed to be getting along better. It's a shame he wants to go back now that his mother's home. He could have certainly stayed until the school year ended."

Since my mother knew nothing about the real reason Pilar was back home, I mainly nodded my head as she spoke. I tried my best to mask the tears that up until then had been falling pretty consistently. She kissed me goodnight, and I stayed clutching the stuffed Snoopy doll that had been my right-hand man since I was three.

That was how my night was supposed to end.

***

It was only a light knock on my bedroom door. Thinking back, a "light" knock hardly seemed appropriate for what happened after I opened it.

His chest was rising and falling with heavy breaths.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

For a few seconds, Elec was staring at me as if he didn't know how he'd gotten to my door. "No."

"What's wrong?"

His eyes had a frantic hunger in them. "Fuck tomorrow."

Before I could process it, his warm hands cupped my face and brought my mouth to his. A low groan from the back of his throat vibrated down mine, and I caught it with a deep intake of breath. His chest pressed against my breasts as he pushed me back into the room. The door closed behind him.

What was happening?

His mouth was hot and wet as it devoured mine, his tongue circling the inside almost desperately. This was far more intense than the last two times we'd kissed, and I realized this was what it felt like when Elec didn't hold back. This was different and a prelude to something more.

He stopped kissing me for a moment, and his hands slid from my face down the length of my neck. He pulled my hair, bending my neck back. He sucked on the base before kissing his way back up and sighing into my mouth.

My tongue brushed back and forth over his lip ring, and he responded by gently biting my bottom lip as he moaned through his teeth.

I wanted more.

I was ready.

There wasn't a doubt in my mind; I was going to let him go all the way.

When he stopped to look at me, I took the opportunity to ask what I absolutely had to know. "What happened?"

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