Feeling Again-Mattheo Riddle;Book 2

Chapter 22: Solitude

TW: Self harm mentions and drug use

Snow's POV: 

This is perfect. Not too close, not too far. I'd be hiding right under their noses and they wouldn't know. I set up everything within the cave and laid back down, staring up at the "ceiling," above me. Sirius stayed in this cave until last year when he saved everyone. He shouldn't have had to leave the safe walls of this cave. I sighed, not wanting to go back down a dark road and begin opening my suitcase and bag. "Well this will be fun," I say to myself sarcastically. 

Mattheo's POV: 

I kept reading over her letter, over and over, as if somewhere in it would be a clue, or maybe I'd wake up from this terrible nightmare. But it never happened. She was gone. Does Harry know? He must know. Surely she left him a letter to. I should go check on him. 

I stumble out, it's a weekend and no one is out of their dorms yet. I'm in a complete daze as I continue walking to the Gryffindor dorms. Harry and his friends must've had the same idea as I ran into them on the way their. Harry, Hermione, and Ron stopped and just looked at me. They had the same look on their face. They knew. 

Hermione saw the redness and puffiness in my eyes and gave me a hug. "We were just looking for you," she said softly. I nod into her shoulder before pulling back and wiping my eyes. "We should go to Dumbledore, if anyones knows how to find her, it would be him." I nod, knowing that that was best. 

"But I'm worried now, what if my father finds her?" 

"Snow's too smart for that, she wouldn't let that happen," Harry said, although it felt as if his presence wasn't even there. "Ginny also had a letter, she hasn't her room," he said sadly. 

"Let's all go to his office together," Ron suggested. I nodded and began walking to his office without any doubt. 

"It's because of me, you know." I sniffle again, at the thought of our argument being the last things we said to each other. "She left because of me." 

I think for the first time, Harry wasn't mad at me. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder and shook his head. "No, it's not. She was just struggling and no one was able to help her. If only we all saw the warning signs sooner." 

"Now don't go blaming yourself," I say. 

When we reach Dumbledore's office, Mcgonogall is walking by, seeing the distraught looks on our face. "Whatever is the matter with you four?" 

"We need to speak to Professor Dumbledore, it's urgent," Harry said. 

"I'm afraid he isn't here. But do go ahead and tell me, I'm filling in for him." 

All of us looked hesitantly at each other. Mcgonogall, sensing our hesitance, invited us inside the office. She gave us all water and told us to sit while she sat across from us. 

"You all have been silent for the last 5 minutes, I'd appreciate if you don't waste my time," she said quietly yet sternly. 

I clear my throat, deciding to begin the difficult conversation. 

"Me and Snow had an argument and this morning, we all find a letter next to our bed. It was a letter from Snow, telling us goodbye. She's gone into hiding, and we're worried for her safety," I choke out. 

"All her essential belongings are packed," Hermione added. "She really did leave," she said, a sad tone in her voice. 

Mcgonogall shook her head and stood up. "This is a really serious issue. Mattheo, I need you to stay behind, the three of you, out!" 

Snow's POV: 

This was true solitude. I was deep within the cave, so no one would know I was here. I set up a bed type situation and a sort of closet? Either way, I had a nice set up going. I laid down, and realized this was way harder than I thought it was. 

The point of me going into solitude was to cleanse from drugs and self harm. However, after two days, I was already beginning to feel withdrawl symptoms from Xanax. My hands were shaky and my head had a buzz, and not the pleasant kind. I know that the first few days of benzo withdrawl is terrible, and even deadly, but I had to stick through. But I couldn't just go cold turkey. 

Sighing, I take out the last Xanax bottle I have, completely filled. I take out two instead of the usual 2 and half I take, hoping that it's a step in the right direction. 

It's not. And by that night, I'm back to square one. 

Sorry it's taken me so long to post a chapter lmfaoooo. Hope u like this one even tho it's shorter. 

What do u think Mcgonogall is gonna ask Mattheo? 

What will happen to Snow as she goes on this "cleanse?" 

I'm always here to talk if u need someone to dm :)