Untold

2

Him

Who is this him? Well, that is Noah....Noah Welsh. My neighbour my classmate and my biggest crush

I have had a crush on him since grade 7, it's been like 3 years. But Yesterday I read this quote somewhere on Facebook that said "If your crush lasts for more than 1 year it is not a crush its love".....

I really don't know how true it is but yes I really like Noah. He is quite tall with a lean body and sharp jawline he wears glasses like me but unlike me he actually looks good in them. I know that he works really hard to  keep up his grades and that's actually one of the many things about him that I like...he is very ambitious and also has a great sense of humour. We don't really talk much only when  we need notes from each other or when he tries to mock me. No, he doesn't bully but mocks in a way that doesn't really piss me off instead it actually makes me laugh. Deep down I know he is a good guy but then again he is best friends with Kevin, my biggest bully, so that's one of the many reasons I never confessed.

Sighing I advance towards the canteen as I watch him laughing with his bunch of "popular" over-achiever friends. Sometimes I wonder does he actually like being with them or is it only because they are popular? Because trust me, Kevin's group is nothing but a bunch of shallow materialistic people who doesn't really care about others' feelings. 

"Stop looking you are making it obvious " Cassie nudges me as we grab our trays to take the food.

"Oh please I have been really good at concealing it"

"Concealing what?" Someone says beside my ear that startles me and to my horror it's the obnoxious Kevin standing right behind me with that ugly smile plastered on his face!! I swear sometimes I just feel like grabbing his curly hair and shoving his face in the dustbin!!

"That you are a fatso who can eat up all the food in the canteen ? Huh giant?" He says pretty loudly I look around and see everyone laughing

"Shut up Kevin" Cassie Says rather sternly

El arrives there as well

"Oh look we have the sticky here as well" he says pointing at El!!

"Man you guys make quite the combo Gulliver and the lilliput" he snorts and the whole canteen erupts into laughter

I look around and see all those mean ones laughing their a** off. Why? Why no one bothers to stop him? Is it really funny to watch someone getting bullied??

But then my eyes landed on him...Noah who is focusing on some notebook kept on his table and writing something there. I am such an idiot I was actually expecting him to say something

"You are a horrible person" I wanted to tell this to Kevin but I just couldn't. I hate this about myself I could never say anything....I don't have a backbone. I just stand there looking like an idiot trying hard to defend myself but I fail...like always.

"Here take all this" saying that Kevin drops a whole bowl of Spaghetti on my tray along with some other food
"Guys bet this fatso here CAN eat all this" he mocks and everyone hoots.

I watch as El and Cassie tries to stop him but get bullied as well. My friends are actually as timid as me this is why we have never been able to stand upto them. It was getting all too much for me so I just drop the tray on the counter and run away from there. I could hear Cassie calling me but I didn't stop instead I couldn't see where I was going as my eyes were swirling with tears.

Soon, I reached the girls washroom. Thankfully no one was there. I stood infront of the mirror and looked at myself.

Why am I like this? Why my hair is not perfect? Why do I have such a pale face with glasses on? Why am I so fat?? Maybe if I was pretty they would have never been this unkind to me.

Tears roll down my cheeks

I wash my face properly and look into the mirror....all the tears and its stains are gone. Only if I can fix my expression no one will understand anything. So that's what I try to do I try to smile. Grin like an idiot trying to conceal the pain and embarrassment.

The door bursts open and my two best friends enter

"Lil?" El comes forward

"It's OK everything is fine" I lie but the problem of having best friends is they know you too well.

Cassie comes forward and hands me a snicker bar "i got your favourite".

I smile and take it from her but only if she knew I was never going to have it.

We three exit the waahroom with El and Cassie leading the way and me being a bit behind. As I lift my face my eyes land on Kevin and his group. I see Noah too, he is smiling and talking with them.

What are they talking about?

Are they making fun of me?

Maybe they are. Terrified by all these thoughts I turn around and silently walk away from there. I do not want to walk past them and make a mockery of myself again!

I stay near my locker till its time for my class and once the bell rings I go to my class.

"Where have you been?" Asks Cassie.

"Nothing, had to take some noted from the locker"

Aa the teacher starts the class, I quitely turn my head and look at him.

Noah is sitting in the 4th row, in the corner while I am sitting in the 2nd row corner.

I watch his focused face as he is going through the exercise trying to find answers.
Even I am trying to find answers, answers to why I could never gather the courage to tell him. Forget confess, I couldnt even gather the courage to be friends with him.

I aways thought that if nothing atleast we can be friends. But that never really works out. I lack confidence. Everytime I am infront of I act and talk so stupid that I end up making a fool of myself. So I always try not to be chatty around him.

So, we could never be friends.

Maybe this is how it should be.....