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MELANI PARIS August 20th 📍HOME ————
It's raining outside today and I wasn't really in the mood for anything I been smoking to take a break from reality
Everyone was at my house today and my mom and dad was supposed to come back tomorrow with niyah so ima clean up today and make sure it's nothing in the house that can hurt her , she's getting bigger and can crawl now I'm just so thankful for her
"Don't mess up this house I'm not playing with y'all at all im tryna clean " I said as I was picking stuff off the floor
"Chill ma we not gonna mess it up" dd said tryna ease my worries because I been stressing these past days and I don't know for what
"Rd" I said as I continued my cleaning and my girls helped I already did my room and I have a baby bed thing in my room already wit a changing table and all I'm actually prepared because I know in a year ima have to watch her because I'm getting older and gonna be outta school so I got just remember that my parents won't be here to help me forever but I'm very thankful for them now
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"Rd lani I'm pretty sure it's good " bri laughed a little
"I know it just don't feel right maybe I'm doing to much I need some air " I said as I walked out to the backyard and sat on the chair when I wanna say abt 3 minutes later bri had came outside to me
"Mama you okay " she said as she sat next to me
"No" I said
"Well let me know what's wrong that's what I'm here for what's on your mind " she said
"It's just that I'm getting older and I'm a senior now then I'm still tryna do hair and make money but then I have a kid and is gonna have to watch her knowing my parents can't be here to watch her forever and on top of that it's just a lot with my anxiety and everything that's going on ion think I'm a good fit for a parent " I said letting it all out
"Listen to me you still have a year left your parents are gonna be here while your in school watching your baby and now you can take off of school after a class to do hair lani it's gonna be okay your a great mother and you know we always here and dd good with babies that's his child he's gonna be there for her " bri said and she was right
"Yea that makes sense " I said
"And maybe you can start your pills again so that'll help you and cut down on weed even tho your not smoking that much but I say maybe twice a week at least plus you don't want that all around when the baby comes " she said
