Wither Away

6 - Freak Out

I knew trying to talk to (Name) would be useless because firstly, Gamzee won't shut the hell up, and secondly, she probably doesn't want to talk to me anyway.

I wouldn't blame her.

"Hey Sis," the clown almost slurred. He wasn't drunk or anything, it was just his normal, dragged out voice. She smiled, and she tried to go unnoticed, but I saw how she stood so shakily.

I quickly went to her side, grasping her arm firmly so she could stand without the rail.

"How are you feeling?" Tavros asked her, a cup of apple juice in hand.

I listened to her explain her health status until a hand on my shoulder caught my attention. Dave stood behind me with a smirk on his face, John in tow.

I followed them over to the other side of the room, arms crossed.

"What do you want?" I asked, irritated. John giggled like the shitty dork he is.

"Geez, Karkat! Are you ever in a good mood?" I scoffed. 'Yeah, when I'm not here.'

"Everyone's been talking, Vantas," Dave said in his 'cool kid' tone, "When are you going to propose?"

"What? Who the hell thinks I'm going to propose?" I snapped.

"Whoa, calm down, KK. How many years have you and (Name) been together?" I grit my teeth.

"That is none of your business, prick. Who the fuck thinks I want to?" John's smile faded and he looked somewhat offended.

"Karkat, I'm sure she'd appreciate it," John whined.

"I'm sorry John, I was busy not giving a barkbeast's ass to listen to what you had to say!" I stepped closer to him, curling my fingers into fists, "Fuck out of my relationship life!" Dave put a hand on my chest, pushing me away from Egbert.

"Karkat, calm the hell down. We're just trying to say that she isn't going to be around forever, maybe you should-"

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" At this point, I couldn't even will myself to note that Dave's face turned red and he began stuttering.

"You don't know how long she has! I don't even know! What right do you fucking have to say that?" The whole house got quieter, not completely, but I knew almost everyone was paying attention now. I grabbed the collar of Dave's tuxedo, pulling him closer to the point where I could smell his awful human perfume.

"Karkat! Stop, you're freaking out over nothing-"

"Shut the fuck up, Egbert!" I turned back to Dave, noses almost touching.

"I'm tired of you fucking acting like you're the hottest shit around! Take a hint - you're the biggest douche out there! How dare you say she isn't going to be around forever! I'm going to make sure she is around longer than you, I can fucking promise you that!"

A soft hand planted itself onto my forearm and I turned around. (Name) stood there with her eyes studying my own. But for once, I couldn't read hers. I let Dave go, uncurled my hands and crossed my arms, looking to my side. I actually felt a bit embarrassed. She probably was too. I was acting like a wriggler. It was supposed to be a good night, and I fucking ruined it.

Dave pushed his glasses up and stood with his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry Dave," (Name) said with actual sympathy in her voice, "Karkat's been...out of it lately." With that last comment, she gave a small smile and pinched my sleeve, dragging me out into the backyard. The party continued inside.

(Name) sighed and turned away from me. I guessed that was the time to apologize.

"(Name), I'm sorry-"

"Save it. What has been up with you lately?" She turned back around to me and I could see the slightest hint of oncoming tears in her (e/c) eyes. I searched my mind for an answer, but couldn't find the courage to speak up.

She exhaled shakily, holding her hands to her chest and closing her eyes.

"If you're just going to fight why'd you come?" she asked quietly. I looked up the night sky, feeling my whole person fill with regret.

"I-I wanted to."

"No you didn't," Her voice cracked and I felt a twist in my chest. "You probably only came because you wanted to ruin it for me, right? You wanted to prove I wouldn't have a good time without you?"

"(Name), no, that's not it!"

"You said no one would want me here, but really you don't want me here!" She sobbed. I felt my own eyes sting, because although it sounded selfish, it was true. I didn't want her here. But not for the reason she thought.

I reached out, but she slapped my hand away.

Why do I always manage to fuck things up so severely?