Pins and Needles

Chapter 12

Sawyer buys me a hot bowl of Mac and cheese at Annes, despite my protests. He waits for me to finish before saying anything.

"Row, are you okay?" He asks, a look of concern in his eyes.

"Row?" I respond, a weird smile on my face. He looks almost surprised, a smile lightening his features. He's only called me Row once before but I never said anything about it.

"Do you hate it? I won't call you that if you don't want. Sorry" He says, getting slightly flustered. I shake my head.

"No, you can call me that.. I don't mind" I shrug.

"Okay" He answers. We sit in silence for a few seconds until he talks again.

"Are you okay?"

I shrug, and open my mouth to say yes, but he cuts me off before I even start.

"Like, really okay. I don't want a simple 'Im fine' I want the truth, Row"

"You sure are saying a lot for someone who is usually quiet." I say, getting butterflies at the nickname. He shakes his head again.

"Don't change the subject."

"Sorry." I say, but pause. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" He asks. He is playing with a napkin on the table, folding it in then out then in again.

"I don't know if I'm okay. I want to be, but I don't think I am." I say, trying to be honest. I don't think he is planning on letting up any time soon.

"What's going on? I am here if you need to talk. We may not be the best of friends but I think I understand at least a little bit of what you're going through." This time it's me who shakes my head.

"It's a lot. I don't want to bother you, I'm sorry." I say, standing to leave. I've already kept him away from school, and now I've made him worry about more than he should have to. It's my fault anyways that I'm even here. I should've just listened to dad when he said-

"I don't mind." He interrupts my thoughts.

"Honestly?" I ask

"Honestly."

"Him, Jack. I can't get it out of my head. And then I went to the library today and the first thing Devon brought up was Jack and I don't know. I just can't figure it out. Nothing even happened." I let out. It's nice telling someone. I see the look on his face and guilt overtakes me. His jaw is set, his eyes darker than before. He looks angry. At me, he's probably angry at me.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything." I say quickly.

"No, no I'm not mad at you, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm gonna kill Jack." he says the last part almost as a whisper. Immediately I am shaking my head. He looks at me with a questioning look.

"You'll get hurt."

"No I won't. Jack really isn't strong." He responds.

"But he has so many friends. What if they hurt you?" I ask. This time he has no response. He shrugs.

"Promise you won't go after them." I say, and he nods, a soft look taking over his once stern expression.

"I promise."

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Sawyer never took me back to school, instead he took me home to an empty house. He waited until I was all the way inside to leave, and then texted me an hour later to ask how I was doing.

I am sitting on my bed with my sketchbook in my hands when Jamie knocks on my door. I look up and give her a light smile. I feel a lot better after my conversation with Sawyer.

"I got a call from the school today?" She says with a questioning tone. I grimace.

"Yeah, sorry, I was feeling really sick so Sawyer gave me a ride home." Technically it's not a lie but I still feel bad.

"Why didn't you just call me? It would have been better if I checked you out so you don't get in trouble for skipping." She explains, I shrug.

"I know, I know, but you were at work so I felt better just getting a ride. Plus he was right there and offered and.." I trail off. I am mentally preparing myself to be screamed at. Instead, she smiles and nods her head calmly.

"That's okay, next time just shoot me a text and I will call them." She responds. "Dinner is in 10 to 15 minutes, we're having chicken stir fry." I nod, and she leaves the room. I look back down at the drawing in front of me. His face.

Wait.

Why the hell am I drawing Sawyers' face?

NO.

I grab the book, and throw it to the side.

I do not like anyone. Especially not Sawyer. Nope. He's too popular. And I don't have time to worry about some guy.

But he is kind of nice I guess.