Pins and Needles

Chapter 15

After about ten minutes of looking, we pull into the diner I remember from my first day in this town. Pennies Shakes. There are only a few people in the small building when we walk in, so we go up to the front counter.

"What can I get for you guys tonight?" The server mumbles. She seems irritated, but I don't take much time to ask what's wrong before Sawyer orders hot chocolate for both of us. He looks at me and asks what I want to eat, so I just shrug until he orders, then I get the same thing.

We sit at a table and he pulls his phone out for a second, then slides it back in his pocket.

"Is everything okay?" I ask. When I look at him, he shrugs.

"I am here for you Sawyer.. I know we're not super close, but, no matter what, you're not alone." I try. Sawyers' name is called for the food, and I hurry up to grab it. When I get back, he starts eating immediately. I can't tell if he's hungry or trying to avoid talking. I won't force him to tell me, but I sincerely hope he knows he's not alone.

"My sister." He sighs between bites. I almost don't hear what he says because he doesn't even look at me when he says it. I am about to ask him 'what?' before it registers.

"Your sister? Is she okay?" I ask, thinking of Keenan. His missing tooth, the freckles that litter his face. His laugh could light up an entire room. I miss that kid so much. I mean I practically raised him. He spoke his first word at 10 months old, but Mom and Dad were too drunk to hear. I am glad they didn't. That was my moment, not theirs.

I force myself back to the present, right before Sawyer starts talking. I can almost see a tear in his eye, but I don't say anything.

"We thought she was." He pauses. Confusion fills my mind and I can't help but make a face. "She- she's sick. Cancer." He clarifies.

I take in a breath. I can't imagine what I would do if Keenan had cancer. Would I scream, or cry? I don't know, but I do know it wouldn't be good. Yet here Sawyer is, trying to keep everything together.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry Sawyer." I say as everything clicks.

"She was in remission, but the other night she fainted and they took her to the hospital. It's back. Her stupid sickness. We thought we were okay. She's back on Chemo, losing her hair, and losing her dignity, losing everything. I have to put on this stupid face and pretend everything is okay, for her, but it's not." He vents, a tear finally daring to run down his face. He wipes it and is fidgeting with his hands. I don't know what comes over me but I put my hand on his, and speak.

"I'm not gonna say it will be perfectly fine in the end. I don't even know if it'll be okay. What I do know is that everything does and WILL get better for you Sawyer. My brother is in a foster home, so I at least partially know what you are going through. I am here for you." I respond. He looks me in the eyes and nods. Once he calms down a bit, I tell him to finish his food, and we both eat in silence. Not awkward silence, because we are simply enjoying each other's company.

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Once I get home I head straight up to take a shower and head to bed. I change my outfit and tuck myself comfortably into my blankets. I am sleeping not-so-peacefully and I keep waking up but falling back asleep. That is until Logan comes marching into my room.

"I can't sleep!" He yells jumping up in the bed. I grunt and turn over on my other side, away from him.

"Logannn go to sleep!" I respond, trying to stay enthusiastic. In all reality I am not happy at all. I was dreaming again, not dreaming.. Having nightmares.