"i bet you can't even hurt an ant."
"i'd slap you but that would be animal abuse."
- in which y/n got added into the bllk group chat by ego to tame horny soccer teens but ends up riling them up instead
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tw: mentions of self-harming and deaths later on in the chapter
._.
shidou 3:52 am
shidou Y/N PLEASE ADD ME BACK I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT I'M SO SORRY I WILL EVEN SEND YOU ALL MY SECRET SAE PHOTOS THERE'S A FEW OF HIM NAKED TOO
y/n tempting but no thanks! plus i don't need your help to see sae naked i'm pretty sure i can do that on my own 😑
shidou wow so confident?
y/n YOU SAY THAT AS IF YOU DON'T POST NARCISSISTIC PICTURES OF YOUR HALF NAKED BODY ON INSTAGRAM
shidou narcissistic my god i love it STALKING MUCH
y/n YOU LITERALLY FOUND AND FOLLOWED ME ON THE FIRST DAY I WAS ADDED INTO THE CHAT AND YOU WERE SPAMMING ME IN MY DMS AND BEGGING ME TO FOLLOW YOU BACK
shidou what you should return the favor you know
y/n me? i'm sorry could you repeat what you just said?
shidou i'm sorry momma
y/n DUDE YOU ZESTY AS HELL
shidou WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THEN
y/n make me an offer i can't refuse and i will add you back to the chat and unblock you on instagram
shidou YOU BLOCKED ME ON INSTAGRAM?!?!
y/n I'M ABOUT TO BLOCK YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T THINK QUICK
shidou UM UM FHDASTHFOIW I WILL GET YOU THAT SAE BODY PILLOW
y/n hmm NOT GOOD ENOUGH
shidou WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT FROM ME
y/n omg an amazing idea just popped into my mind
shidou hold on let me get the bible
y/n you have to be nice to the rest of the members in the chat once i add you back for the entire day
shidou I WOULD RATHER GET A BUZZ CUT THAN BE NICE TO THAT FUCKING EYELASH WACKADOODLE
y/n then do it no balls
shidou ... HAVE YOU SEEN MY MAJESTIC HAIR WITH THESE PINK TIPS I WORKED SO HARD TO GROW MY HAIR OUT FOR THIS
