Truama (C!Beeduo Angst fanfic)

Alone.

POV: Ranboo

He's gone. I mean, not forever, but for practically the whole week.
(TW:    ⚠️   SELF HARM
I can't self harm. I can't. I won't... I shouldn't. But I need to. I should probably hide them. I walk over to the bathroom and turn on the faucet. I'll put my arms under and it'll burn my whole wrist but technically that burn scar would hide the cuts. Plus, touching water won't put too much suspicion as long as they don't look too closely. Which might be a problem with Tubbo. But alas, it's less obvious than plain-old cuts. I put my wrists under the running water and groan. "Shi... mm." I don't cuss solely because micheals in the other room. "God damn...." I whisper to myself as I watch blood green and red run down my arms. Maybe it wasn't the best idea, huh..? Well, too late now. I walk out of the room, hiding my arms from Micheal. "Holy fuck..." I grab bandages and wrap them around my wrists.

(END OF SCENE)
I just lie down and read the clock. 3:00. Boohoo. I turn to my side and just scroll on my phone until I fall asleep. Later, I wake up to Micheal shaking me. Uh oh, is something wrong? But it turns out, micheal was just hungry. I give him his bottle again, not having the energy to actually get applesauce or smth. He makes a slight mess of it, but it's physically impossible to get mad at Micheal. He's just so cute. I kneel down and start cleaning it up when Tubbo slams the door open and runs straight towards me. "Tubbo.?" I ask, a little shaken. "Ranboo.." He just hugs me, and I'm still surprised at what happened. "What happened..?" I ask, concerned. He sighs as if he doesn't want to say it but he knew he'd have to tell me either way. "There was a blizzard.." He says. "And..?"  I ask. "Well, it made some of the houses lost power and there are people that are like...almost freezing and everyone expects me to help and I'm really fucking scared because I don't know how to help or what to do..!!!" He says quickly as I pat his head and pull him closer to me to comfort him. "What do I do..?" He asks, as he starts sobbing a little. "I barely want to do anything.. let alone go to work..let alone do anything actually stressful.." He says in-between sobs. "My love, it'll be okay. Just uh.. You could help rebuild some of the homes." I try to help him, but I doubt anything I'll ever do could be of help. "I know.. I don't want to. I just want to..I just want to stay here with you." He says. I nod. "I know I just... I just want to help you. And I'm sure you want to help people just like I want to help you. You know what it's like to need help and thats exactly what everyone is going through." I say. He looks at me. "You always seem so happy..like you don't need help." He pauses. "But I uh- I don't mean that in a dismissive matter I just mean... your so good at coping and managing it..." He continues. I shake my head. I'm literally not. All I do to cope is just self harm and besides that I'm enderwalking. "Maybe I just do a good job of hiding it." I say. He sighs. "You know, I could try to help if that's okay with you." I say after a moment of silence. He nods. "I don't want to burden you." He says. "That's the same thing with me." I reply. "We can get Phil to babysit micheal." He says. I nod. "I'm sorry, my beloved.." I say to him, genuinely feeling really bad for poor tubbo. He sniffles. "It's okay.." I pick him up and he kicks his legs. "Hey..!" He yells, half jokingly. "I wanted to stand up without letting you go!" I reply honestly. "Put me dooowwnnnn" He yells, laughing. I put him down and he sits on the couch and motions towards me. I sit next to him on the couch and he rests his head on my shoulder. "Ranboo..?" He asks. I look towards him. "Is it going to be okay..?" He asks, genuinely scared and worried. I kiss his forehead. "Ofcourse it will. As long as we have each other." I say.. "It seeks like not even that can be promised.." He starts crying a little, us both knowing what he's implying. My death. Sam. I sigh. "I know.. but hey, we're together now, right?" I say. He nods wearily. "I feel I just want to cry I'm so stressed.." He says honestly. "Just cry then.." He shakes his head. "This is too difficult..I don't..I can't. . . It's all too much..!" He buries his head in my chest and starts weeping on me. It hurts horribly because the tears are burning my skin and causing blood to go down my chest and torso. I wince a little bit but I still try to hide it . "It'll be okay, my love." I try just to say random comforting things as he cries into my bleeding chest. After a while, he falls asleep in my arms. I sigh. Blood stains my shirt. Dammit- you can't really tell though.. I get tubbo out of my arms and go change shirts. I pick him up and bring him into our bed. I get Micheal, who is worried by his father crying into his other dads arms. I put Micheal in his crib and lie down next to Tubbo and hold him close to me. Goodnight..

Words: 965
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I don't actually know what to say but sorry for not posting for so long and I'm glad I finally got to do some angst lol. Well, goodbye, enjoy the next episode!