How to be a flawless bitch and make all other hoes irrelevant

11 things about girls you need to know.... asap

Hello my bitch minions, I'm well aware that I was going to do these once every week but I've been quite busy being a bitch master. So here is the long waited for … 11 things you need to understand about the female mind.

1.    Chocolate DOESN'T fix everything for us, but it does help

2..       Woman over analyse EVERYTHING, which is why we can't let the «little thing» go

3.        They get attached very easily, that's why when it's just a «fling» it turns into a little more than that with women

4.        If a girl texts you it’s because of these following reasons

·         She's obsessed with you

·         You're already in the friendzone

·         We like you (in a relationship)

·         It's easier to talk to a guy than a girl; less drama

·         You want to fuck him…

5.        Being called beautiful has more meaning than being called hot or sexy

6.        We LOVE to fan girls over certain things like: youtubers, boy bands, hot guys, guys with accents, puppies…

7.       Grab your bitches….. it’s scenario time... “Scenario time! -You like a girl named Ashley, Ashley has a friend named Brenda. Brenda comes up you in the hall and asks "Do you like Ashley?"

More often than not in this scenario Ashley asked Brenda to ask you because she is to shy to ask you herself. And even if she didn't the first thing Brenda is going to do with your answer is tell Ashley. Now you are thinking "WHAT!? NO!! DON"T TELL HER THAT!!!" but in reality, this is a good thing. Because there is a good chance she already likes you. And if she doesn't, she will now be looking at you in a different way, and let me tell you. It's a lot easier to fall for a guy if you already know they like you. So it’s safe. So go ahead and tell Brenda that you like Ashley. Take a chance.”

8.       Your ex is a hoe, and any girl after me is a downgrade.  

9.        Be yourself, girls already have enough drama with other girls we don’t need it with guys

10.    One compliment can only last 5 minutes but an insult can last forever so be careful

11.    We are not always on our periods; sometimes we actually just want to slice your face off.

There it is bitch minions; your challenge for this week is to invite as many new bitch minions into our family as you can… J

Don’t forget to vote and comment if you like this blog xoxo

Lots of love, your bitch master

-jenny