A New Kind of Feeling // Creek

Chapter 17- Craig

     At some point during the game Tweek goes quiet. He doesn't seem like he's even paying attention anymore. He looks sad.

     By then, I've actually managed to get decently drunk, so my brain tells me it would be a great idea to poke his cheeks, pushing the corners of his mouth up with my fingers.

"Turn that frown upside down Tweekers," I laugh.

     He wipes my hands off his face and looks back at me scowling. He's so cute when he's angry. I kinda wanna kiss him. Shit I don't think I've ever actually wanted to do that with anyone before. I mean I have kissed people, but because I thought I should, like I was expected to, not because I genuinely wanted to.

     "You look adorable," I say, flicking him on the nose.

He makes a face at me I can't quite read. I'm not the best at recognizing other people's emotions, especially not drunk.

"Hey Tweek," I whisper, leaning in close. "Can I tell you a secret?"

He doesn't respond, instead he just tries looking away from me. Why is he looking away? I want him to look at me.

"I kinda wanna kiss you right now," I whisper in his ear, and his eyes snap back onto me.

     "Oh just stop it already!" Tweek shouts, pushing me backwards so that I fall over into Clyde's lap. He gets up to walk away and I scramble to go after him.

     "Stop what? What did I do?"

     Tweek turns around to face me, almost looking like he was about to start crying.

     "Stop acting like you like me! I don't want to be part of whatever experiment or bet with your friends is going on here. I know you don't like me that way, so stop rubbing it in. Just leave me the fuck alone!" And with that, Tweek turned back around and headed up the steps out of the basement. I didn't try to follow, I just sat there dumbfounded.

     Tweek thought I was just messing with him? But I wasn't. I really did like him. How was I supposed to show him that? Did he like me? It sort of sounded like he might.

     Next thing I know, Tolkien is grabbing me by the hand and ushering me upstairs. "Where are you taking me?" I ask as I stumble along with him.

     "Up to bed before your drunk ass makes some stupid decision you'll regret."

________________

     When I wake up the next morning I'm in Tolkien's bed, he's laying next to me in the opposite direction so that his feet are basically in my face.

     "Dude, your feet smell like shit," I say, tossing my pillow at his face to wake him.

     "Yeah and yours are a real fucking rose garden," he grumbles tossing it back.

     "You could've just slept in the bed normally," I point out. "It's not like I would've tried making a move. I'm not gay for you."

     "Oh, uh.. yeah I guess," Tolkien responds, not really looking me in the eye. He's never had an issue looking at me before.

     "Dude... are you like, uncomfortable with me being gay?" I ask.

     "No of course not!" He starts to defend himself. I give him a look that I hope reads as me not buying it one bit. Finally his face falls and he goes on. "Well, uh.. maybe a little. Sorry. I'll get over it, I promise. I'm just still processing."

     "Nah it's cool," I say. "I'm uncomfortable with me being gay too."

     I know there's nothing morally wrong or gross about being gay, I'm not a total bigot. It's just that when I dated Tweek before everyone was always getting into my business, watching us, asking personal questions as if they were entitled to know the answers. Then there were the girls who tried asking me for fashion advice. I don't know shit about fashion. I don't see why wanting to kiss Tweek would have anything to do with knowing whether or not a girl's shoes match her purse, but they seemed to see some sort of correlation.

     "Dude that's fucked," Tolkien says after a moment.

     "Yeah well, I'm still processing. I'll get over it."