The Liability (2023 - COMPLETE)

XXI - New Perspective

 It was June before she felt like herself.

It was an incredibly intense couple of months for her. One of the biggest things to change for her was that she finished her high school education. Freeing herself of that drain allowed her to focus on what mattered more: learning to love life. Her schedule was dictated by the appointments she had to attend each week: various doctors appointments, meetings with Melissa, and a new therapist. Therapy was the biggest thing to improve how she approached things.

She would take the days slowly, trying to find the simple things that made her happy. The sunshine, the flowers, and anything else that made the world a little nicer to be in. Avalon was working toward a new perspective, no longer needing to be in constant survival mode.

The hobbies that she had picked up since being here also had an overhaul. When she had started, she wanted anything and everything she could do in order to not have enough time in the day to think. Now she was focusing more on making them leisure activities.

She baked to try the recipes that Melissa shared, not to eat her feelings in the end. She would draw in an attempt to grasp the technique, to understand what parts made up her subject. She would paint because she liked to see the layers pile up into a beautiful final project. 

When she had lived in Washington, she worked in acrylic because that was what the class offered, but now she was finding that she preferred watercolor.

She was into gardening! It had started because she had noticed that Anna had herb plants in the windowsill that looked a little sad. When she had been able to nurse them back to life, she was curious what else she could make grow. 

There was a small balcony in the apartment, now littered with small garden pots. There peppers, tomatoes, strawberries, and flowers. She was probably the most proud of her little garden, to have been able to grow all of these things from seed.

Avalon dedicated more time to exploring the town she now gets to call home. In the beginning, is it was not a necessary for her to be there, she did not want to go. Now? She found joy in the library, cafes, bookstores, park, and all of the little shops that littered downtown. Being cooped up at home all day was not healthy for her. She knew she needed to get out more, to get out of the muck of her mind.

The one thing she was not sure about was her pregnancy. Avalon was not sure if she wanted this child and she still refused to know more than necessary about them. Things were progressing well and all of Avalon's various scans and tests appeared to be normal.

She essentially had an allowance from the Association, a baseline amount of money for her to take care of herself. Eventually, she would have to choose what she wanted to do, to pick a career path, but there was still time for that. 

She wasn't sure what she wanted out of life, but she was still learning what it meant to have a choice. Maybe it wasn't the healthiest habit for her to have, but Avalon spent very little of this money. She would contribute to the apartment's necessities, but the thought of getting herself little treats or anything still seemed foreign to her.

It took a lot of intentional effort to improve her relationship with herself. Avalon refused to feel bad and compare herself to her roommates. Sure, the three of them were in different stages of their lives, but that was okay. Maybe it was a good thing that Anna knew what she wanted to be. Maybe it was a good thing that Rosalie knew who she wanted to be with. It was certainly okay that Avalon was still figuring out the basics.

Avalon had gone through a phase believing that her roommates only interacted with her because they had been assigned together. That they did not actually want to be friends. It took her a while to accept that they could have been randomly assigned to live together but have grown to genuinely care for her.