Under Her Spell

Vicrul

[The first threw chapter are written the knights POV as a journal]

Y/N taught us the skills to journal, not in a girly, gossip way. But in a way, to keep track of time, our emotions, and short stories from our lives. These journals can then be kept for future necessities like history, memoirs, and plain gibberish. She also showed us how to paint and draw illustrations for our journals or what she calls a visual journal. A journal page(s) where the art speaks for itself rather than words. I chose to write mine in documentation of Y/N's behavior.

It has been ninety seven sunsets since Kylo's death, not counting the one on the day of his death. The first week Y/N was thrown into denial, she came back to the island from the battle numb, detached, straight to Kylo's cottage clutching Kylo's cape in her arms . The first week she didn't eat, she slept and laid in bed all day, all night. Then she would start these crying spells, this frantic if Kylo is still alive through the force or anything. She would beg the universe, strain herself through the force, sleep with his helmet, lightsaber, and clothing to just hope he could come back. Phase one, which I called it, but in factual sense it the phase of denial lasted about two weeks

Then she would get violent with us, trying to escape to go back to Exagol. The fighter had the coordinates in the computer in hopes that he was still there. His body, or at least he is alive. We persuaded her that Exagol was gone. But she would hit us, throw things at us, scream at us we had to restrain her. Her power is too strong, too lethal a cut of her eyes may even kill us. We feared her, unfortunately to say. We feared her hurting herself and her hurting us. Kylo wasn't this bad with anger, not even when his mother (weird for me to mention her) died, and The First Order blew up. This phase of anger, phase two, lasted about three weeks. Kuruk had to erase all the coordinate memories on the computer, not just the TIE but also the Buzzard too. She gave up all hope. She died in a sense. This is phase three, the longest phase dead but alive - zombie? I suppose

She has a daily routine now where she would wear the cloak, crossing through the field, sitting close to the edge of the cliff watching the sun set. She would sit and sit and sit until the sun dipped below the horizon. One of the three of us would call for dinner. She would get up robotically, tread back over, sit and push the food around, take small bites only to nourish herself, not present in the meal. She would leave when she had enough and go back to his cottage. And sleep and repeat the day. Kuruk knew it was best to leave her alone to continue with our daily objectives.

The habit was odd but understandable. Kylo was her soulmate. Her mentor. Her lover. The only person who truly knew her.

I tracked her routine, noting a small grove formed, exposing the dirt. Again, she threaded across the grass, wearing the cloak plopping down to close to the edge, watching the sun dip. Today, day ninety seven, however, was different. Snow had fallen just a thin blanket. Over the grass, the pheasants hid in their burrow. Kuruk and Trudgen were down by the bottom cliffs collecting crabs. I made some tea from leftover herbs, got a rolled up blanket, and headed across. She noticed me as I handed her the mug, her hands clasped over the mug, she had a short smile though it was forced. She took small sips. Placing the blanket next to her, I was a foot away from her as I sat down and didn't speak, keeping my distance trying to give room in her grieving. It was peaceful, the wind was mild, the waves tumbled and rolled, crashing against the chalky walls. She looked out as if she was waiting to see something. The cloak was collecting snow that was falling. I couldn't tell if she was cold or just numbed out.

I broke the silence,

"I had a sister." I stared at the glowing sun. This was a topic I rarely shared."Twin sister."

"She wasn't force sensitive like I was. We were teens when we were placed into this military academy by my much older cousin, who was our guardian. We were separated obviously by gender, but my sister had this illness. Always had it when she was an infant. It affects her breathing." I stopped clearing my head for a second "those... they... killed her. They pumped something into her dorm to trigger her attack. I wasn't there to help her, and she suffocated."