Anaxiphilia | Taekook Fanfic

Love Lessons

Taehyung woke up in a warm bed, which was rather unusual. His bed always felt too cold, because since his childhood he was used to sleeping with Jungkook’s arms embracing him completely. But when he came out, Jungkook stopped it. Whenever Taehyung went to cuddle with him at midnight, he would stutter and stumble upon his words and would make lame excuses to stay away from him.

It was the most unfathomable and gruelling period of Taehyung’s life. Even though, Jungkook tried his best to make Taehyung believe that he was fine with him being gay but his actions couldn't match the words which always left his mouth.

He didn't let Taehyung be close to him for about 3 weeks, and Taehyung remembered every single second of those three weeks. That time when he was seeing Jungkook being drifted away from him, his heart was tamed with millions of painful scratches of which he lost hope that they would be healed,  even then he just told him that he was gay and never allowed him to get the whiff of his forbidden feelings.

But...providentially or unfortunately both, Jungkook and Taehyung both found their way back to normal. But, the cracks which appeared in their relationship after him coming out didn't get filled. No matter how much Taehyung strived to, it didn't go back to normal.

They didn't sleep together. They stopped cuddling. They stopped being touchy. They stopped placing kisses over each other's cheeks or foreheads. And a part of Taehyung was glad for that. But, there was also his other part which wasn't.

It pained him to be away from Jungkook. It really did. It hurt him to lose the way they were. Because, instead of having Jungkook in a way his heart ached he was getting those tiny little moments. At least he was getting those. He was getting to spend time with Jungkook while being so close to him. And, his doleful heart was content with that.

It was pleased by being in Jungkook’s arms, even when he talked about his girlfriends while hiding Taehyung’s figure in his arms.

After taking a warm shower, Taehyung went downstairs. When he passed through their living room, the sloppy smacking sounds of lips against lips and noises of pants had him stopping in his tracks.

Before, he could stop himself from turning his head, his eyes were already landing on Jungkook and his girlfreind Siayoo at their couch, making out. A sudden pang was felt by his heart at the sight, at the sight of Siayoo straddling Jungkook and kissing him.

Him. His love. She was kissing his love.

His sadistic and unmerciful mind had him controlling in a way that he couldn't take his eyes off of it. Even when he tried to, he just couldn't. The sight of them sucking each others lips, felt like sucking his strength and his mightiness over himself. It felt like guzzling up every single remain of robustness in him.

His knees buckled at once, making him to stagger upon his feet a little and hands desperate flying off towards the nearest table. In the weakened and completely shaken up moment, Taehyung’s hands thrashed the vase placed over the tiny table and made it land on the floor along with him falling back on the floor over his back.

The sound of vase hitting the floor and being broken into pieces echoed in the living room which had a gasp leaving Jungkook’s and Siayoo's mouth, and a bitter thought made its appearance in Taehyung’s mind.

They could hear the sound of this useless thing being broken. But, couldn't hear the breaking sound of my most significant thing being shattered? How pathetic, Tae.

Taehyung thought to himself, staring the cieling of the living room. When his mind finally got itself out of the thunders of agony going on in Taehyung’s heart, he supported himself on his palms and was about to get himself up on the ground when some strong and masculine hands held his arms.