LOVER TO STRANGER - 𝙇𝙀𝙀 𝙃𝙀𝙀𝙎𝙀𝙐𝙉𝙂

05

Heeseung's pov

As I stand in front of her grave, I read the name and the date of death. I let out a heavy breath.

Yuna, who saw Amanda's name, started to question herself. She might not understand what's going on since she's still a child.

She looks at me and pull my shirt. She wanted an answer.

"This is mommy."

"Mommy?"

"Yes. She's in a better place."

"Is mommy already dead?"

"That's not the right word for it, baby."

"Mmm?"

"Mommy's in a better place, that's the right word."

"Hmm. Okay."

She started to tear up but was trying not to make any noise. She holds up her breath and just lets out a small sound while crying.

I can't see her that way. It looks like she holds a very heavy burden on her shoulder.

"Baby..."

I'm speechless. I can't say anything. I feel like everything's going to be okay after our divorce. But I was wrong.

Yuna is still crying.

I am crying too.

I can't believe that she's actually not here anymore. Even after seeing her grave, I still can't believe this.

When did I even start to do the wrong things? I don't remember anything.

I shouldn't realised things way too late. I lost someone who could be my first and last lover.

I was wrong.

If only I changed myself earlier, things would get better. Yuna will be able to live happily with her mom.

How stupid of me.

I'm the one who should be dead now, not you, Amanda.

I'm sorry again.

Yuna: Daddy?

Heeseung: Yes, baby?

Yuna: What happened to Mommy after she passed away?

Heeseung: She's watching us, but we can't see her.

Yuna: So, mommy, can see us crying right now?

Heeseung: Maybe.

Yuna: We shouldn't be sad then. Stop crying, Daddy. Mommy wouldn't like to see us crying.

Heeseung: If you say so...

Yuna: Mommy. (Touch Amanda's grave). I love you, mommy.

If only she knew that her dad was a bad person, she might not love me anymore.

What if she hates me after knowing that I didn't treat Amanda nicely?

What will she do if she knows that Amanda was hurt and disappointed because of me?

What if everything goes wrong?

I love my daughter so much.

I love Amanda too.

I don't know what was wrong with me back then. I was too toxic towards Amanda.

Stupid.

If only I realised how much I hurt her feelings and emotions.

Why now? Why did I even realise it now?

Yuna: Daddy. Stop crying, I said.

I tried to stop this tear from falling, but it couldn't be stopped.

What should I do now?

Yuna: Daddy, we should go now.

How would a four-year-old girl know better than me?

I should be strong for my girl. I need to teach her to be a good girl.

That's what I, as a father, should do. I shouldn't be weak in front of my daughter.

Heeseung: Say bye-bye to mommy.

Yuna: Alread

She walks away without saying goodbye. I feel sorry, actually.

I can't look at her in this kind of situation.

My state is quite bad, actually. I'm nervous, stupid, and sad.

The mixed feelings give me mixed reactions. I'm really sorry for Yuna because of this sudden situation.

Yuna: Daddy! Hurry up...

Heeseung: Yes, wait.

A little girl that knows how to be the strongest one ever. Did she inherited that attitude from Amanda?

How cute of her!

I will be a good father for my daughter. For sure.

THE END