DEAR DIARY [WOOSAN]

CHAPTER 1

12th September, 2023

Dear Diary,

We broke up.

Yes, we broke up. We're no longer boyfriends. No more hugs and kisses, no more of hanging out, chatting, endless bickering, star gazing, cuddling, travelling, kissing. No more. 'Cause we just...broke up.

I'm back to my old life, my old, normal life. A life where no one notices me, and I'm that one loony big fat homo of our class. Everything is back to what it was, teasing, cat calling, bullying, getting beaten up. Huh! Those six months felt just like a fantasy, a dream, like a warm blanket on winter midnights.

My beloved is back to what he always was. The irresistible bully, the notorious troublemaker, the hot playboy of our class is back to his tracks. And why not? Who in this world would blame him for falling for me? Even after our breakup, everyone ponders that I was the one who dragged him, rather forced him into this hell of a relationship. I was the one who made him a homo. Even he agreed to those rumors after our breakup. No! I don't blame him. After all, I was the one who broke up with him.

But...that feeling. That heart wrenching ache within me is reluctant to leave. Whenever I looked at him, what I felt, what I felt within this chest of mine, was thoroughly indescribable. It is something I can never blot on these yellow sheets howsoever hard I try. It is something I can never put into words. It is something I can never speak, say or write. It is just a feeling within my chest...

A feeling of pain, joy, guilt, happiness, misery and excitement.

It is a feeling...just a mere, useless feeling.

I'm happy he's avoiding me. He'll probably forget me forever. And why not? He has got himself a girlfriend too. He doesn't come to me anymore. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't defend me Or protect me when the boisterous boys crowd around to bully me. Instead, he encourages them to continue. And...I don't blame him. I never will.

But...

At least I succeeded in pushing him out of my degrading, ill life. At least, he will never have to face his biggest fear...his fear of loosing a loved one forever. Who cares? At the end of the day, I am the winner.

Nothing much for today. Only the rains won't slacken, giving me all the chills as I reincarnate those rainy night memories with my ex. Duh! Even if I want them back, I can never, ever get them...back.

I must sleep. The doctors had asked me to sleep early. Sorry, Diary. Sometimes, I need to vent my emotions out to you, and it takes really long. I need to take your leave for now. Adios!

~Jung Wooyoung

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𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧.

𝘽𝙩𝙬, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙖𝙮 (𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙧𝙮) 𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙬𝙤 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙖𝙜𝙤, 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙎𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨. 𝙎𝙤, 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨.

𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤, 𝙎𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨, 𝙄 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙧𝙮, 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮. 𝙎𝙤, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙘𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙮.

𝙇𝙚𝙢𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙨, 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝘼𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙔𝙎!

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