COWBOY LIKE ME

We Shouldn't Be Doing This

"Oh my god," Ravi breathed as he stepped across the threshold, his eyes locking to Pip's. His face shifted, eyes suddenly bright, as if entering Pip's Christmas-ified house had washed the spirit over him. "If that smell is what I think it is..."

Pip smiled up at him, and he smiled back at her. Never mind, this Christmas would most definitely be magical. "Yes, everyone, my world-famous peppermint cocoa in our world-famous cocoa mugs."

"You never fail to make everything perfect. Literally every year."

She blushed, a raging fire across her face, and spun on her heels to lead everybody inside.

They gathered around the table in the dining room and for a short while, they just talked. They talked and they drank their hot chocolate, but it was a sweet feeling to be so close like this again.

Somehow, in that moment, everything was fixed. For now, at least. Because there Ravi sat, next to Pip, his hand brushing hers upon a rare and tender moment.

Be it reaching for a snack — Pip had prepared a snack tray, another of her specialities — or just the right moment and the right time. No matter what, his skin against hers for those few lingering seconds felt electric.

The time they spent talking quickly passed — the seconds melting into the minutes, which melted into the time they spent walking from the dining room to the living room.

The — however many — kids gathered on and around the couch, Ravi not leaving Pip's side — she wondered why — as they sat down.

The sky was dipping back into darkness by now, grey turning black, which to Pip, seemed like the perfect time to make the splitting decision — movies or caroling?

"So, everyone," Leanne's voice called into the living room; soft as ever. "My dear daughter has informed me that she thinks it's time for our favorite part of the night — The Big Decision."

That was the title their tradition had gained over the years, The Big Decision. Nobody could  really recall where it came from or who came up with it, but one year — it must've been their fifth grade year — the name was suddenly there. No questions, it just made sense.

The decision part of The Big Decision came to them easy this year. With a brewing snowstorm visible just outside of the windows, it seemed like a movie night.

Everybody sitting together on the couch or on the floor, eating popcorn and drinking more hot chocolate, and, as always, Victor ordered three pizzas.

They were about three minutes into White Christmas, Pip and Ravi sharing a blanket — everything was confusing her tonight, and she almost felt guilty... — when Ravi's hand brushed hers.

He must've heard the choked cough she sputtered, because he laughed softly under his breath and ran a hand through his hair.

Pip tried to distract herself with the movie, eyes glued to the screen as the songs hummed through her ears; a magical, fluttery feeling bubbling in her chest.

The movie was over before it had began; the two hours passing by as if they were nothing — maybe that was true. In the grand scheme of things, were these two hours just a speck in time?

That wasn't important. If anything mattered — if anything was more than a speck in time — it would be what was happening in this moment.

Ravi's hand tight around Pip's, leading her up the stairs to her own bedroom. She was convinced that Ravi must've been drunk, or on something — out of character for him — because why in the world would he be holding her like this?

Why in the world was he locking the door behind him, and pressing her gently against her bed, his lips plush and pillowy on hers?

"We shouldn't be doing this," she whispered through a breath, his hands so shockingly gentle as they trailed her frame. "You have —"

"Shh," he whispered against her jawline, trailing kiss after sweet kiss down it.

When he reached her neck, he took his time pressing kisses against that skin, because he knew that was the most tender place he could kiss.

His lips frolicked and danced across her skin, almost like the snow outside that window.

"I'll always love you, Pip," he slurred in a whisper, too quiet for her to hear, as his fingers brushed the hem of her pants.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

She stared down at him for a moment, reading his eyes, and she sat up. "Are you drunk?"

He laughed softly, brushing his fingers through her hair and pressing his lips to hers once again. "Shh," he told her once more, brushing her hair behind her ear, laughing as she melted into the palm of his hand again.

And, as he slipped one hand under the hem of her shirt and one under the hem of her pants, he whispered ever so sweetly, "Merry Christmas Eve, Sarge."

***

When the morning came, Pip was ecstatic. Absolutely giddy and gleeful, as she was every year.

Christmas Day was the love of Pip's life — second to Ravi, of course...

Shut up, Pippa, her own voice screamed to her.

She stretched as she sat up, a blush spread across her face as she ran a hand through her hair.

She must've slept in later than her parents, because from downstairs, she could hear the muffled hum of Christmas music.

Pip slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Lauren, asleep on the floor, and she pressed her palms against the sill of her window.

The snow was dancing to the ground in a magical sort of way, sparkling white under the grey sky and thick, dark clouds.

She slipped out of her bedroom and for a moment, took in the beauty of the many presents surrounding the tree, colorful lights glimmering against the green.

Everyone's parents would be here soon, like every year, with bags of presents for their kids and for everybody else.

Pip sighed softly, a small grin on her lips as she took this all in. Something she did every year — breathing in the romantics of the Holidays.

Her eyes fluttered open at the sudden brush of fingers against hers, her heart skipping a thousand beats for him, because of course, it was Ravi. Goddamnit.

"Merry Christmas," he said softly, laughing under his breath as he leaned against the banister, facing Pip. He brushed her tangled hair behind her ear and smiled at her in the friendly way he always did.

"You too," she grinned, looking at her feet, as if to hide the furious blush painting her otherwise pale cheeks.

And Pip swore she saw his hand shift, fretting for hers, before dropping back to his side.