Jimmy Isn't Bread

Chapter 2: Jimmy Has Issues

So it was a Wednesday morning and Jimmy was just now waking up at 9:24PM, oh wait never mind scrap the the morning bit it's 9 o'clock at night, so this dude named Jimmy woke up and immediately he exploded, yes like in the blood and guts everywhere was and not in the happy way like I exploded with happiness no he was a very dead dude. So then his cousin Pickle showed up and said something like "Soul harvesting time" or something. I don't remember. I'm just a humble little writer who is writing this story, so Pickle came in and then jumped out of the window and...well disappeared somewhere isn't my business to talk about! So then the next day his sister named Stewert walked into the room and saw the bloody remains of Jimmy, she then proceed to call and ambulance in hopes of saving him which i think was kind of stupid as he definitely wasn't getting up like at all because ya know HE WAS LITERALLY JUST A PILE OF FLESH! My god Stewart is a really unlikeable character. So then the Doctors showed up on then the police and then the special forces and then the government because something to do with just exploding one morning not being normal, so Stewart then got a couple of friends called NM and MN which won't become really confusing later on i promise. Special forces where patrolling the area with guns in their hands and smiles on their faces because they were discussing what the funniest joke is and apparently it's why the chicken crossed the road, ow that's wrong in a numerous amount of ways first of all chickens don't just go "Yes i'm a chicken and i'm going to cross the road for some really funny reason." Reason 2 if a chicken actually crossed the road it would perish and that's not funny that's actually quite sad and reason 3 err it isn't as funny as why did the cow cross the road, okay you want to hear some why did the cow cross the road jokes well okay then but i'm warning you now that they are so funny many have non-alived hearing these because there funniness! Why did the cow cross the road? Okay i hope you said why. Because he wanted to get the...okay get this he wanted to go to the HA HA- sorry i'm already laughing the real reason the cow wanted the cross the road is because he wanted to get to the MOOvies! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh my goodness gracious that was definitely one of the funniest things I and you have ever heard, I would tell you another one but that one almost put ME 6 feet under and I don't find many things funny at all! So yeah that's why "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes aren't the funniest jokes ever, huh? What? You want to get back to the story? What story? I was telling a story? Really? Oh yeah! I was. So Stewart and her two friends NM and MN snuck into the highly secured house before eating a sandwich and just as they reached the room in which Jimmy died they were greeted with the sounds of hundreds of sirens blaring " THE GREAT CHEESE FLOOD HAS CAME! REPEAT! THE GREAT CHEESE FLOOD HAS CAME!" Stewart looked to her friends in worry as she knew the house only had a singular one person Cheese Flood bunker so in the flash of an eye she punched NM to the floor but when she tried to take down MN she was greeted with a scalpel to her stomach! MN picked up NM from the dirty bloody floor and began pulling them down the stairs but then the special forces from out front broke into the house and gunned down NM wait no MN and then NM pounced from the MNs body and devoured the gunmen in one large gulp before turning his eyes towards his one true love MN with tears in his eyes and just as he was about to give him one last kiss, "Oi! Stinky heads guess who's gonna live the Great Cheese Flood? ME!" Yelled Stewart as she raced down the basement stairway before grabbing the handle to the bunker but as she twisted it the door stayed shut! DUN DUN DUN! Stewart fell back in horror as she knew what this meant, death certain death! But wait who was in the bunker? BNM! What? Who's BNM you ask? What do you mean, I swear I've introduced you to him! He's the big villain besides the asshat that is Stewart! Well you know him now and he has used the bunker to the dismay of Stewart, NM and MN well not really to NM as he was dead, wait was MN the dead or MN? I don't remember but that doesn't matter anymore as the cheese came and completely engulfed the city and to the utter shock of Stewart and me Stewart wasn't dead, well i suppose it was more great sadness than shock to me. It turns out that the little cabinet in the basement that they thought was the bunker was actually just the wardrobe of the bunker and the entire basement itself was the bunker, so yes sadly i must say...Stewart lives on!