Jimmy Isn't Bread

Chapter 3: A Small Squabble That May Or May Not Of Ended The Universe

So after what happened with the last chapter and the whole world ending cheese flood Stewart and BNM where the only people that remained, well they weren't the only people that remained there were still a few million but they don't matter to the story so let's just believe Stewart and BNM are the last people in existence. Burgers are pretty tasty ya know so i'd recommend you get one to eat at some point, why? Well because they taste nice and I thought that you might like some happiness in your sad, sad life,I was merely making a simple suggestion to make yourself just a little less than a complete failure. SO! Stewart, now knowing that she was set for life with that amount of food in the bunker, grabbed the fire ax and began chopping the wardrobe door down with great anger and wait for now she's gonna say the funny line! "Here's Stewart!" She yelled as she opened the door from the inside! I know right crazy stuff. She even said the funny words! Anyway then she knocked BNM to the floor and hacked him into bits and whatever, who even cares anymore the final funny bit happened so i'm going to wrap this up real quick. Basically...StewartkilledBNMreallyviolentlyandthenatehisremainswithpridebeforecomingafulloncannibalandkillingtheuniverseadthentimestoppedandeverthingdied THE END! Geez that was a real mouth full to be honest, what? You want me to put spaces in between each word so you can actually read it? Ah! Fine you win. Basically Stewart killed BNM really violently and then ate his remains with pride before becoming a full on cannibal and then killing the universe then time stopped and everything died. Better now? It better be because that just used an extra 10 seconds of my day which i could have used eating a piece of plastic. Well I guess the story is over then huh? Great, that's less writing for me so I don't mind that! Oh you want a proper ending don't you? Okay then. So Stewart pulled BNM from the cabinet and began charging at him with an ax before BNM twisted to face Stewart causing her to fall backwards onto her well back, " Wait don't you have a scalpel in your stomach or something?" Asked BNM in confusion, "Oh yeah! I do! You know i almost for-" And then Stewart fell to the ground dead because she had lost a little too much blood, BNM laughed before tripping over Stewart's body and breaking his big toe which caused him to go through so much pain he became what we like to call in the industry a "Vegetable" as he had now turned into a stick of celery. Stewart awoke in a land like no other with color around every corner and celery around every other corner and it just so happened that BNM was now a stick of celery so now Stewart and BNM were face to face with each other's faces, god please let Stewart die! But with Stewart having the advantage of well not being literally just celery Stewart won with ease and yes a lot of ease he won and snapped BNM in half which then made BNM dead dead which is special because now he was double dead which is not exactly great so as Stewart began dancing about in celebration of her victory then big boss man who was in charge of everything came down and gave Stewart a good smack on the arse with a cane before going back to his office or where ever he goes too. Now understandable Stewart was a little sad as he had just been hit on the buttox with a very hard wooden cane, so in this sadness he double ended himself by eating a bunch of celery which was laced with arsenic which if you didn't know isn't very good for you. Stewart then woke up in a dark dark room with nothing in it except... a stick of celery that had evolved and now had arsenic all over itself, BNM laughed silently as he was the celery but if you could of heard it i can tell you right now that it was pretty evil sounding, then finally after all this injustice BNM jumped into Stewarts mouth making her gag before she dropped dead on the floor because she had just consumes an ounce of arsenic which like i said isn't very good for you but sadly in Stewart's last few moments of life she bit down into BNM cutting him in half which sadly killed him. Now after Stewart and BNM had now died 3 times in the last 12 seconds they were brought to the bigger big boss, " Oi you two need to stop squabbling like right now because you're like messing up the time and space continuum or something like that!" Yelled the Bigger Big Boss but the bigger big boss then made a big mistake and mistook BNM for a snack and ate him which caused the bigger big boss to die because like i've said 3 times or so consuming arsenic isn't very good for you! Stewart began to bust some seriously swaggy moves but then just as he did she noticed that all of space and time was ending and everything was fading away and in the end after everything had disappeared including space and time and everything all that remained was Stewart... and BNM, basically after the bigger big boss ate BNM he did not get digested instead just cleaned of most of the arsenic on his celery body so when everything disappeared he wasn't already dead. " Oh my gosh! Why won't you just die already!" Cried Stewart but as all seemed lost and BNM would have to endorse the rest of forever with Stewart BNM remembered something, "Hey Stewart!" She turned to look at him, "What?" BNM smiled, "Haven't you got a... scalpel in your stomach?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" Exclaimed BNM as he began silently laughing again because he was still celery, then as if though my prayers had been answered Stewart finally died! So then there was one Just little Mr Celery BNM dude, so um i think that's it but err this page feels a little short so do you want to know what BNM stands for well it stands for Big Nickie Mackie yeah i know right! I definitely just made that up on the spot, anyway you want to know NM and MNs real names right!? Of course you do! NM stands for Norman Maggy and MN stands for Mallackrard Niteralbull. So do you want to hear another why did the cow cross the world joke? Yeah i think it's been a long enough amount of time since the last one. I'd say we have all recovered so i'll tell you, why did the cow cross the road? You know what to do. The reason is because it wanted to get abducted by space cow aliens and then it gets blown up and reborn and then it becomes a planet ender and yeah! My god i think my heart is beating a little faster than usual, because that was just so diddly darn funny!