UNPLANNED | namjoon ✔️

9 - unprepared

    

  

    

❁ CHAPTER 9 ❁

UNPREPARED

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You were dozing in bed on the maternity ward, hours later, when he finally turned up.

The knock at the door woke Namjoon first. He was still sat beside you, his head resting on your leg as the pair of you slept deeply. He glanced up at you, shaking your shoulder lightly.

"Hey," he murmured. "Someone's here."

When you awoke, you had a strange moment where you didn't remember anything - and then the pain returned - and then the new mother's panic, twisting and turning for your baby until you spotted her, dozing soundly in the cot next to your bed.

Namjoon rose, making for the door. When he opened it, your breath caught in your throat.

It was Taehyung.

It had been months since you'd seen him, and he was as gorgeous as ever. His dark hair was dyed an ash-blonde now, and he was holding a huge bouquet of daffodils that offset his amber eyes.

"Hi," he breathed, his eyes on you, and on the cot next to you. Namjoon's jaw clenched.

"I'll leave you to it," he said stiffly, making to close the door, before he reached out and took the flowers from Taehyung. "She's allergic to daffodils, by the way."

And then he was gone, shutting the door behind him.

Taehyung gazed at you, a smile on his face. An ugly sensation threatened to burst from you - a mix of pride and of anger - and you wished Namjoon hadn't left in that moment, because you always felt steadier in his presence.

"Can I hold her?" Taehyung broke the silence, indicating to the cot.

You nodded, feeling the emotion rise in your chest, the heightened hormones making tears pricking your eyes. "Yes."

Taehyung glanced into the cot, a brilliant smile on his face. His eyes seemed to be glistening a little as he reached down, scooping up the baby and cradling her in his arms.

"She's beautiful," he whispered, his eyes not straying from her once. You nodded in agreement, twisting your hands together anxiously.

And it was true. She was beautiful. Every inch of her was perfect, from the tiny needle-thin fingers to her eyes, already tinged with Taehyung's trademark amber.

She was Taehyung's daughter, after all. Of course she would be gorgeous.

"I'm sorry," he swallowed hard, not looking at you. "I had an audition, and it was for this part I can't miss - I just can't-"

"Did you not think that maybe you couldn't miss the birth of your daughter?" you shot back, knowing that you sounded needy and emotional, but not caring. "Was that not more important to you?"

Taehyung didn't reply. He just gazed at his daughter.

"You can't just turn up when you feel like it, Tae," you said now, tears finally spilling over and down your cheeks. "Not like today. You have to commit. It's not really a pick and choose sort of arrangement. It's all or nothing. Look at her. She doesn't deserve anything less."

As if to make your point, you gazed at your daughter, still clutched in Taehyung's grip. He looked at her too, and as you both stared at this tiny creation that the pair of you had made, you had a strange feeling of being under some kind of spell cast by her. Like you were bound to her now, for life. For better and for worse. Always.

But Taehyung, it seemed, was not under the same spell.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," he whispered, his eyes on the ground.

Your heart sank like a stone into your stomach.

You wanted to scream at him. Tell him that ready or not, you were going to have to do this. That you didn't get a choice. That this was your daughter and your responsibility, and he should stand up and grow some balls and be a father, because you knew full well what it was like for a girl to grow up without a loving dad.

But you didn't have it in you. The labour had zapped every ounce of your energy, leaving nothing for you to be angry or sorrowful with.

All you were left with was resignation.

"Then go," you said, in a low voice.

Taehyung glanced at his daughter, and then at you.

He nodded.

"Okay," he whispered.

He handed the swaddled bundle back to you, took one last look at the pair of you in the hospital bed, and then he was gone.

Namjoon came back in moments later, having seen Taehyung leave. When he did, he saw you clutching the baby, sobbing intensely, and he rushed to your side, pulling you into his arms.

"Woah, hey," he soothed, reaching for the infant and pulling her away from you, and then reaching out to wrap his spare arm around you. "It's okay. Let it out."

Even in your despair, your heart fizzed with adoration for how adorable Namjoon looked with her in his arms.

He looked like a natural. Like he was born to be a father.

And that thought made you cry even harder, remembering that her real father had walked out of here moments ago.

But Namjoon was patient, and he rocked the baby quietly until you had calmed down a little, before he handed her back. He gazed up at you, and without even needing to ask, he knew exactly what had happened between you and Taehyung.

You had a funny feeling Namjoon had seen through Taehyung a long time ago, while you had still been clinging to some final hope that had only just been dashed.

"Hey," he squeezed your hand again, reminding you of earlier, in the car, when he'd tried to reassure you. This time, you didn't squeeze it too hard. "Screw him. We don't need him. We can work this out together."

In that moment, curled up in a hospital bed with your daughter in one arm and Namjoon's hand in the other, you really, truly believed him.

"You and me," you said through tears, now a phrase of comfort. "And baby makes three."

Namjoon laughed, his own eyes glistening a little now as he gazed down at the swaddled bundle in your arms. He squeezed your hand again as he leaned forward, placing a kiss on your forehead as he murmured one more word.

"Always," he promised.

  

  

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