Okay

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TW: Mentions of self harm, kind of indirectish but still

"Get up!" Jared said excitedly, shaking Connor's shoulder. "It's snowing!"

"No..." Connor groaned, rolling under the covers. 

"YES!" Jared was thrilled. He love, love, loved snow. 

Because it got him out of going to work, and because it was pretty. He liked to snuggle with his husband on snow days, and watch a movie with him, and make pasta for breakfast.

"Jared-"

"Connor, please..." Jared wrapped his arms around Connor and smiled widely. Connor sighed and pulled himself out of bed. 

"Okay, fine." Connor shook his hair out and put it into a messy bun. He picked at the hem of his  Queen t-shirt as he followed Jared downstairs. 

Jared sat down on the couch and motioned for Connor to sit next to him. Connor gratefully sat down and put an arm around Jared's shoulder. 

"What movie?" Connor asked, a trace of a smile on his face. 

"West Side Story?" 

"One of my favorites." Connor was truly smiling now.

"I know. That's why I love it so much. Though, it does make me sad when Riff dies."

"Why is that?"

"Because he reminds me of you. Your celebrity twin." 

Connor was touched. He smiled again and gave Jared a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." 

Jared rested his head on Connor's chest. The movement caused one of Connor's bracelets to shift, revealing a couple of nasty gashes that had scabbed up. 

Connor panicked, just a little. He told Jared he had been doing okay just the day before. It was a lie, one that would help Jared sleep at night. 

He didn't know what to do. Move to adjust the bracelet and hope Jared wouldn't notice, or leave it alone and hope Jared wouldn't notice. It was a lot of hope either way. 

Connor weighed his options. Finally, he decided he was going to move the bracelet. He pulled his arm out from behind Jared and fixed the issue quickly.

And Jared...

He noticed.

He raised a curious eyebrow.

Connor shrugged, like, hey it's nothing.

Jared didn't buy it, however.

He held out a gentle hand, a gesture. Connor could trust him, it said. 

Connor shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. He didn't want to talk about it all that much. He didn't need Jared to take care of him. Jared was busy enough with his fancy computer job, and with the project that him and Evan worked on together. Connor didn't know what it was, but oh well. The point was that Jared had enough to worry about. 

Jared gave Connor a look. Connor considered if he should just stand up and walk away. But he didn't. He slowly let Jared take his hand, and watched as Jared removed the bracelets. Connor bit his lip to keep from wincing when Jared accidentally bumped the scabs. 

Jared studied the mess for a moment before looking up to Connor. 

"You told me you were doing okay." His voice held no anger as he spoke, which Connor was grateful for. But he was upset. Disappointed. 

"I lied, okay?" Connor snapped. He took a deep breath and spoke again. "I'm sorry, I just- I didn't want you to worry about me. I'm fine now, I promise. It isn't a big-"

"I'm always worried about you."

"I- What? Why?"

"Because I love you, that's why. And I care about you."

Connor stared at his feet. He didn't have a response for that. Sometimes he forgot that he was capable of being loved. It felt alien to him at times. His whole life, he went without ever being shown love or care, until Jared came along. And Jared cared, more than Connor could really comprehend. 

"I'm sorry." Connor whispered. "I... I just had a rough day a few days ago and I... I didn't- couldn't stop and-"

"Do you want to tell me about that day? The bad one?"

"I, um. It wasn't a big deal, really. Larry called. He wanted to know if we were celebrating Christmas with them. I told him I would ask you and he got really bitter about it. Saying 'he missed me' or whatever and I sort of lost it and told him off saying he was too late to care and then he just hung up and I felt really bad about it and then there was, you know, that little fight we had-"

"I was right-"

"That's beside the point. I was right. But... It was just a lot. And..."

Connor pulled his arm away from Jared as carefully as possible. He began to slide his bracelets back on. "They're pretty ugly."

"Nothing about you is ugly. Not on the inside, at least." Jared jabbed at Connor's stomach and Connor let out a little laugh. 

"I love you, Jared."

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