Heaven's So Far Away - A Sam Winchester X Female Reader Fic

Prologue

Sam's POV

"Leaving? What the fuck do you mean you're leaving?!" Y/N's baffled voice scolded me.

The sound of panic in her usually soft-spoken voice was already tugging at my heartstrings...and in this moment, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and tell her how much I loved her....tell her how much she meant to me, and tell her that it was all going to be okay...

But I couldn't. I didn't have the luxury of time.

I didn't have time to tell her the truth about me...nor the time to explain where I was going. And even if I did...I didn't have it in my heart to tell her it's all been a lie.

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I felt like an outcast when I had first come to Stanford. How could I not? I was raised as a soldier; taught to be a killer of all things supernatural by the time I was old enough to hold a weapon in my hands.

When I was nine, I told my dad I thought there was a monster in my closet...he gave me a .45 and told me to aim for the head. I never stayed in the same room for more than a week at a time...when I was lucky enough to be in a room, that is....sometimes, our home consisted of the backseat of my dad's '67 Chevy Impala.

By the time I was a freshman in high school...I had seen things that no other kid on Earth could even comprehend. I'd seen death, monsters, ghosts...everything that goes bump in the night...it's all real...and I knew how to slaughter all of it.

Making friends was impossible. My older brother, Dean, taught me a little bit about how to talk to girls and how to flirt...but in the grand scheme of things, I knew it really wasn't necessary. We never stayed in one town long enough for me to actually form an attachment to anything.

So, when I reached my twenties...I decided I couldn't take it anymore. The death, the tragedy, the danger...the homelessness and the loneliness... I was robbed of my entire life...I was robbed of being human.

So despite the begs and protests from my brother, as much as it pained me to leave him to deal with our drill sergeant father alone...I told my dad to stick it where the sun don't shine, and I left. Determined to make something of myself that wasn't a freakshow.

I had gotten accepted into Stanford, and I had the very normal goal of becoming an attorney. I kept to my studies and kept my nose clean...after the hell I had endured, the straight and narrow path is exactly what I was craving.

It was difficult at first...I was paranoid...I was scared there were monsters lurking in every shadow, I was scared anyone I interacted with might be a shapeshifter, lying in wait to extract its revenge upon me. And because of my paranoia...I found myself dissociating a lot, and I was still the loner I always had been.

And then....I met her.

Y/N L/N....the love of my life.

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I had met her in one of the several libraries across campus during one of my free periods. And as cliche as it sounds...the moment I saw her...it felt like every little tether that was keeping me standing on Earth's surface was severed...and I felt absolutely weightless.